ilovegarages Blog

Worst Movie in the History of What I've Seen

ilovegarages — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 17:52:06 GMT

This is the worst movie I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of bad movies. I'm discounting, of course, those bargain bin horror flicks at Wal-Mart, but really; for a 'blockbuster-scale' incredi-hyped somewhat-promising-trailer-having sequel, this one bites the dust. When I was walking out of the theatre, I actually felt depressed. Literally. And I wished Galactus really HAD eaten the planet Earth. Oops, spoiler. Don't rent it. Or if you do; set it on fire.

Eye-Opener

ilovegarages — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 19:52:00 GMT

Now this movie wasn't realy what I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be more of a day in the life of America if the South won the war, but it was more like a history channel special and whole lot more than a mockumentary.

CSA manages to pull you around real history and tweak certain things that make it truly intriguing such as the fate of Lincoln, the plight of imagined politians and so on.

Among other things, the acting and certain special effects fall short of Forrest Gump quality, but are forgivable because of the content. The commercials that break up the history lesson are nothing short of cringe-inducing and purely crazy to observe in the world we live in today and the whole experience makes you glad history took the course it did.

An R-rated fairytale!

ilovegarages — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 04:49:00 GMT

del Toro is the man. Blade II? Hellboy? And now this? He's spoiling us big time.

Admittedly, I thought this was going to be an epic fantasy with other worlds and magical quests and stuff, but it was really just set in one place and the quests were of a much smaller scale. Was it any less effective? Not at all.

Pan's Labyrinth is one of those stories of redemption and seeing to it that the bad guy gets a right rodgering. Magical to say the least, and done very very well. It's truly is a fairy tale at it's core, which I think this world needs more of. Of course, it is rated R for a reason. The first reason is for usual stuff like torture and gore and all that lovely jazz, of which will leave you cringing for sure, but never unbearably. The second reason is my favorite; mystical creatures nothing short of something that crawled right out of your nightmares. Seriously, I'm pretty sure the eyeball-handed monster in this film left a universally rotten feeling in the gut of everyone in the theatre. Who comes up with this stuff? Oh yeah. del Toro.

Do you like fairytales and being creeped out and stuff? Pan's is a good watch no matter what spectrum of film you're looking for.

If you like that sort of thing

ilovegarages — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 04:36:00 GMT

I never would have seen this movie if my friends hadn't gotten me to see it without know what it was about. But I really liked it anyways, but like I said, it's trailer would never make me go see it.

It's a drama. A political drama. In the mid 1900s. Woah, even that sounds boring. But seriously, it's not. It's just long. I'm not one for politics, making this movie pretty hard to follow for me, but by the end, I got the general idea and it was worth all three hours of it. There was a lot of talking, implied sexing, and deceit. Plus people dying. The most brutal was a death you could only hear; now that's good filmmaking. Robert DeNiro directed this, and if that's any insight as to how well it's done, then you have my opinion right there. Damon is always cool and I barely recognized Jolie, who was very good at convincing me to not hate her because of Tomb Raider II.

If you have three hours and Sour Patch kids, this movie rules. If not, well; why on earth don't you have any Sour Patch kids?

Believe me, Natalie...

ilovegarages — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 04:24:00 GMT

There is quite a bit to say about this movie, but a lot of it is only to be said to someone else whose seen it, so I'll keep it short. It's up to you to decide anyways.

I went into this movie expecting what my friends said to be an extremely depressing and bleak outlook on relationships. I didn't really get that out of it, well, I got the bleak outlook part, but that is easily justifiable: Everything that happens to these people is their own fault and, believe me, they make some stupid decisions. So with that said, you have to take it all with a grain of salt knowing that good relationships shouldn't be this way. This is the Hollywood way.

Granted, if you're feeling down, I wouldn't watch Closer. But if you're feeling introspective (ooh, ten dollars right there), I'd hazard a viewing and see what piqued a lot of peoples' curiosity about four very confused, intolerable, profane and potty-mouthed individuals at the end of their ropes.

Oh yeah, Natalie Portman isn't really hard to look at either.

Motion Capture Done Right

ilovegarages — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 04:13:00 GMT

Leave it to Zemekis and Spielburg to finally find us a guy who can direct a CG movie about something other than animals. I read that Monsterhouse was deemed the first true horror movie for kids, and I really truly believe that. There are scary elements for a movie rated PG; ones that are delightfully twisted, and ones that are simply unnerving... and it manages to not look like a Tim Burton movie. Genuine humor and great voice acting make this one a seriously good watch. As for all that kiddy lame-i-tude that kills most of the CG movies nowadays, this movie has pretty much none, and that's the kicker.

Visually, it's really stunning. I was able to see this in 3-D, and it was immensly cool to see already great CG come to life. The entire movie was motion captured (even the house!), and unlike the Polar Express, which tried to look too real for it's own good, Monsterhouse went the more cartoony route and met with awesome success because the characters had their own life without looking soullessly unappealing; they looked like cartoons, which is exactly what they are supposed to be.

Morbidly Hilarious

ilovegarages — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 04:07:00 GMT

This movie is definately one that leaves you feeling good, but only after dragging you though some dead bodies and painfully embarrassing scenes involving "little miss" beauty pagents.

The characters are really likeable, even though they all have their fatal flaws, which I thought was pulled off rather well considering you can hate them one minute and love them the next.

This film also doesn't scream "indie" like I thought it would, which I think is a good thing in this case, because it didn't have to draw attention to itself that way. Also; Steve Carell toned down?? Woah...

That's what I'm talkin' about....

ilovegarages — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 04:44:00 GMT

Well, I was wary when Broken Lizard came out with another movie. After Club Dread, which was only sub-par, at best, I was skeptical. But Beerfest is almost a return to glory. It doesn't have Brian Cox in it, but hey, what can you do? I don't konw if anything they make will top Super Troopers, but if anything, I believe this movie is a little more character driven and has slightly better direction than ST. A good watch, specially if you are German and love to laugh as gross exaggerations of your heritage.

Simply Amazing

ilovegarages — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 05:44:00 GMT

I'm just going to say it out right: This is quite possibly the greatest movie ever made. It competes for my "favorite movie of all time" spot, ranking up there with Braveheart, Unbreakable, and Donnie Darko. Apocalypse movies are very awesome and it's one of my favorite topics, which may be why I am drawn to some anime (not all, and mostly the more serious series').

I was wary when I heard it was to be directed by the guy who made a Harry Potter movie. Kinda harsh, I know, but I only dig the books; the movies just don't do it for me,but more on that later (it's kinda my first post). Anyways, he did take the HP franchise in a darker direction, where it sorely needed to go.

That said, CoM is severely violent, and it is shot in such a way that makes you feel like you are an innocent bystander just witnessing these people do terrible things in desperate situations. I don't remember slow motion being used, and being a 24 fan, I can tell you that the makers of this film know exactly what they're doing to have gotten such impact out of minimalism and not over-dramatizing crucial points.

Oh yeah, my life's going to get eaten up by this site, I can tell.

Gotta faze,
Matt G