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GradysGhost Blog

Shrek the Third...

Under discussion:

Mary Reilly  (1996)

Shrek the Third  (2007)

I should probably not even be writing about this movie.  While I'm sure it's great for children (I've heard several parents say that their kids couldn't keep their eyes off the screen, and that's certainly true from my noisy theater experience), Shrek the Third has got to be the most difficult to watch movie for parents since Baby Geniuses 2.

If you cut open a rubber tree and let it bleed all over this movie, Shrek 3 STILL couldn't get any sappier.  If you filled it with clips of Mary Reilly, it STILL wouldn't be any more boring.  And if it were a fifteen-minute-long short film, it would still feel like a waste of time.

Here's how Shrek 3 works: First, show some cute characters that talk funny.  Introduce the plot, which is essentially the same as in Shrek and Shrek 2.  Somebody says something.  Somebody else hears it.  Somebody's worried about what the other thinks.  Then things blow up.  Someone gets kidnapped.  And Shrek must save the day.  We're used to it, Dreamworks.  Come up with something special next time!  Jeez.  Even Grimm's fairy tales were gruesome.  I want some of that.

Here's the point.  If you've seen Shrek and you've seen Shrek 2, then there's really nothing to see here.  Don't waste your time.  Maybe rent it in a few months.  Here's the worst part about it.  Even though the original cast came back for the sequel, almost none of the characters actually sound like the characters.  They're bored!  Eddie Murphy's got Dreamgirls.  Antonio Banderas has got... well, anything else!  Cameron Diaz just did The Holiday (and that's probably more entertaining, watching Jack Black trying to be a serious actor).  John Cleese is waiting on that paycheck.  Julie Andrews wishes she could still sing.  This movie is made more boring by the fact that all the voice actors are.  Why bother?

Just skip this one.  Avoid it unless your kids want to see it.

posted on Wednesday, June 06, 2007 8:48 AM by GradysGhost


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