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Reviews of movies
 
  • Lifetime Movie

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful. [What do you think?]
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    Seriously, this "movie" belongs on Lifetime.  I got a lot done while it was on and I didn't miss anything.


  • It's sleazy but not that good really

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    Cecilia  (1982)

    Rich, bored Cecilia is a fairly unlikable bitch who enjoys stripping in front of her servants, teasing them, and getting them fired.  One day, her former employees, a group of brothers, decide to get their revenge.  One brother picks her up after a boating excursion and delivers her right into the hands of the others who proceed to rape her in the back seat of her own car.  Sex film rules and porno shenanigans firmly in play, she, of course, becomes aroused and begins to respond with lust and excitement. With her sexual passions reawakened, a naked Cecilia drives home to her husband.  They make mad, passionate love.  She then tells him all the details of her violation.  Andre vows murderous revenge.  Yet, she doesn’t want an act of retribution.  Instead she proposes that they enter into an open marriage filled with sexual adventure.  It will bring them closer together.  Andre isn’t so sure though.  After much macho posturing, Cecilia and a confidant orchestrate an encounter for the hesitant hubby and the sexy romp begins.  Can their marriage really become stronger or will their philandering tear them apart and destroy Cecilia? 

    As far as the sex scenes go, I found them to be pretty tame and standard, until the sex party scene.  As the film progresses, there is a sense that things are getting out of control more


  • BoringBoringBoring

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    Solstice  (2007)

     A few months after the death of her twin sister Sophie, Megan and her friends spend one last time at her family’s summer home in the Louisiana bayou.  The summer solstice is approaching and Megan keeps noticing some increasingly odd occurrences, becoming convinced that Sophie is trying to contact her from beyond the grave. 

        What to say about this Daniel Myrick’s (The Blair Witch Project) little straight to DVD flick? Hmmmm… This is a tame supernatural tale that moves pretty slowly and then stops to show teen stars that I don’t care about drink and banter.  There are some flashbacks too, so we learn that Sophie’s demise is shrouded in secrecy. Since what’s going on in the film won’t hold your interest, you’ll have time to wonder: is this a “vengeful spirit about to attack her gathered friends” film or “uncover the mystery of an untimely death” film?  You want things to be one way, but they’re another…and they aren’t scary. 

    Great.  Let’s find out why Sophie died.  Maybe (read more at Bloodtype Online)

     


  • A Sweet Fairytale

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    Wool 100%  (2006)

    Once upon a time, two quiet and quirky sisters lived in their cluttered mansion.  Each day they would eat the same breakfast before sneaking out to examine the garbage of the people who lived in the city near by.  Quickly darting from bin to bin, so as not to be seen, this odd pair would rescue what others had tossed aside.  Each night, they would gently clean their newfound treasures and carefully draw and color a picture of each one for their record book.  They had no cares for anything except their clutter and solitude.   

    One day, the two sisters discover a wicker chest filled with bright red balls of yarn.  Of course, they bring it home and happily admire it as they sketch and color each ball for their ledger.  But these balls of yarn already have an owner.  They were never discarded; they were just waiting to be found.  Later that night, loud noises wake up the sisters.  An intruder has some how managed to get past the mountains of junk to get into their home.   They find a young, naked girl feverishly knitting the red yarn.  When she finishes her sloppy red sweater, she quickly pulls it on and passes out. When she comes to, she begins to scream—a loud, growling, agonizing scream which echoes throughout the house, shaking pictures from walls and clutter from tables—“Damn! I have to knit it again!”  This will happen again and again.  The sisters’ world of compulsive collecting and isolation will be completely disrupted.  Dubbed “Knit Again” by the pair, this slightly deranged creature will demolish everything they have created. 

    In this quietly odd film, there are long stretches of time without much, if any dialogue.  Playful and surreal marching music alleviates some of the silence, but the audience is really just a patient observer, a child watching the tale of this broken secret world unfold.  There is plenty to see.  The actresses are skilled (read more at Bloodtype Online)

     


  • What happened?

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    Spider Forest  (2004)

    It sounds like a story with so much promise.  It starts out with a truly horrific, bloody, graphic crime scene.  It casts doubt and makes you suspect the main character.  Then...it meanders all over the place, tosses in some supernatural nonsense and rather implausibly has the main character forgetting things that there is no way that he could have conceivably forgotten or I am just so unbelievably confused by what this film tried to show me that I can't remember it clearly.  But, in my defense, I had back-up (i.e. I watched it with a friend) and both said back-up and I were stone cold sober and of sound mind.

    I love Asian films and I love unique storytelling.  I love surprises and I am a patient film watcher.  I will forgive a lot of things for breathtaking visuals (or over the top violence)...seriously, show me something unique and I will wait for the payoff.  Unfortunately, while things looked pretty good here...there was nothing to wait for.  A big disappointment.


  • Great Job with this Remastered Release Synapse!

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    Yoshihiro Ishikawa’s female swordplay classic Female Demon Ohyaku (1968) is definitely a film to get excited about.  It opens with a bridge and a sobbing woman--never a good sign in a Japanese film.  Wasting no time, the woman attempts to fling herself and her small daughter into the raging waters below.  The daughter survives, but the audience knows her life will be shrouded in shame.  Mom was a big whore and her daughter Ohyaku, played by the beautiful Junko Miyazono, grows up to be a con-artist geisha, increasingly angered by the way men take advantage of women.  Her lousy attitude (i.e. she won’t put out) quickly gets her into trouble with a wealthy government man.   

    Read More at http://www.bloodtypeonline.com/f42.htm


 

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