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  • Cake or Death

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    Layer Cake  (2005)

    Debut director Michael Vaughan clearly had a list of boxes to tick:  sleek cool blue and boltgun metal color pallette, electro moody Michael Mann-like soundtrack whacked into place, drugs and clubs, copious profanity, a cocky middleman trying to escape from his line of work just as a maelstrom blasts into view to tear everything he was used to to hell. Control slips, bodies pile up, guns are brandished, more hired guns with their own freaky m.o's are brought in. The camera swirls and sweeps gracefully through the neon green and grey urban sprawl of greasy spoons, bars, and cars as deals, hits and beatings are carried out. 

    But it never really escapes from the shadow of Guy Ritchie and his Brit crime flick imitators despite the style and cast. Its a shame this film really doesnt speak with its own voice as there are plenty of glmpses of potential, but at least Vaughan is stealing from the best and knows how to bolt the thing together to carry the audience along for the ride. Best viewed as a chance to see a new director's first major work, and Daniel Craig in a pre-Bond role (the scene where he tries out a Luger pistol can now be seen in an unintentionally funny light as it foreshadows his later career choice). 
    Not worth devoting special time for, but if you bump into it when its on, pop a few pills and watch.

  • Violence delivered to your door.......

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    Ichi the Killer  (2001)

    A Miike film featuring the most delicious torture known to man, this absurdist look at the Yakuza underworld is one of the most unsettling films I have ever seen.  Featuring an infantile (with mental teeth) villain who kills purely by splitting people in half via the funky blades in his comically large shoes (and dig that hockey/cyborg/rollerball-esque jumpsuit), a under-boss with a penchant for inflicting pain on himself as much as he does others ( one torture scene involves a rather hefty pan of boiling oil and ...tempura!), and a cast of women all of whom seem to enjoy being raped, this film really requires an effort to get through. Watching this with my brother, we stopped the DVD at least 10 times to simply look at each and utter "'What the F**ck?" But the madness had to continue.
    The tone of this film is simply scattergunned all over the place- as wacky as the obviously fake blood spurts (apparently Tarantino is a fan)and multiple decapitations often appear, on just as many other occasions the sheer careful detail of veins bursting, skin stretching and tongues slicing seems to be trying to give you a grotesque anatomy lessons all in itself.  So go on, sit back, tune in, treat yourself to some tempure and torture. 

  • The second movie I've seen in which Robert Carlyle eats people

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    28 Weeks Later  (2007)

    Watching 28 Weeks Later I realised why its the only 'zombie' genre movie that actually disturbs me- its the whole six seconds concept. By that I mean when you get bitten by (or puked on, or in the case of this movie, kiss) a zombie and the infection hits your bloodstream, you have about 6 seconds of writhing, vomiting and if your really energetic, head banging against a wall or floor until you become truly zombiefied. Thats not a lot of time to tie up your personal affairs, or to tell the people around you you love them (or scream at them to RUN THE HELL AWAY).
    You think cramming an Oscar acceptance speech into the 30 seconds they give you at the acadamy awards podium is tough, with 6 seconds to go before the virus penetrates the blood/brain barrier, you just have about enough time to get the words 'OH MY GOD' out before Bam!- Your eyes go red, you dribble insanely, and feast upon your own family. Its different from the vampire or werewolf movie genre, where there is usually a few minutes or hours to go before you 'turn', usually allowing for some thrilling heroics and poetic good byes or to find a cure.
    That and the fact that these zombie can RUN is what makes this franchise different,and its a franchise now with 28 Months later pretty inevitable, though my brother had the idea that a better sequel concept would be a prequel called 24 Hours later which would take viewers back to the original outbreak, which started with the monkeys. Then Jack Bauer turns up and wastes everyone.
    There was something unintentionally funny about this film though- what I can only call the cinematographic trick of 'zombie vision'. At one point after the character of Don (Robert Carlyle, about time he became a zombie) becomes infected, the camera angle changes to a fixed steadicam shot over his left shoulder as he runs around feasting on victims, becoming more and more covered in blood/saliva/gloop. Its just kind of funny, like zombie reality TV.
    In watching this film my brother and I kind of broke the 4th wall in a weird metaphysical way. This film is set on the Isle of Dogs near to where I live and features the Docklands Light Rail DLR running through Crossharbour to Canary Wharf amongst other locations. To watch this movie my brother and I went to the Isle of Dogs Cineworld multiplex through Crossharbour and Canary Wharf.........on the DLR. It didn't feel quite the same. Good to know though that even a zombie outbreak can't stop those little red trains.
    O

  • A B Movie Feast

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    Ravenous  (1999)

    This film firmly belongs in that special category of movie for me that can only be called 'Those weird "can't believe they (insert big name actor here that you have profound respect for) were in that, hey it's sunday night, got nothin' to do, lets watch the train wreck again.'

    To this day I have no idea why Guy Pearce and Robert Carlyle (well, ok, I CAN understand Robert Carlyle being in this having just watched him feast on his own wife in 28 Weeks later, but hadn't Guy Pearce kind of moved onto more serious fare post LA Confidential?) are in this film, its kind of ridiculous, But I find this film weirdly mesmerising and every time its on, there I am, eyes glued to screen. Maybe its the haunting Sierra Nevada snowscapes, the way Robert Carlylse embraces his supernatural cannabiism with 'relish', or the fact that Guy Pearce plays it so damn straight despite the ludicrous premise. Maybe I watch it just to hear Robert Carlyle utter the classic line "we shall not feast...indiscriminately. We shall feast......selectively. After all we don't want to break up whole families." How considerate.

     

     

     


 

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