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Reviews of movies
 
  • meh.

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    The Number 23  (2007)

    m-13

    e-5

    h-8

    26-the number of stars i gave this movie(3)

    twenty fucking three!

    i can do it too. 

     

     

     

     

     

     

    no care ever.


  • if i wanted a billion dollar movie to crap on my childhood, i wouldve seen the new teenage mutant ninja turtles movie

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    Transformers  (2007)

    Michael bay has a knack fo getting ridiculous amounts of money for movies the will undoubtedly suck a proverbial dick.  he stirkes again with his latest diarrhea fest: Transformers.  bay manages to remove the emphasis  from transformers un-paralleled bad-assery and place it on a stupid love story...again.  throught out  all but the last fifteen minutes of the movie  i saw one robot fight..and it lasted like 10 seconds.  more over, i had to wait over an hour just to lay eyes upon optimus prime.  gay. shia lebeouf is gay. optimus was a bitch.  gay.  the climax was the shittiest since i fell asleep watching the nine day long epic we know as brave heart and missed the end.  

    If i was the director, i would have fired the person that did the casting and hired bruce willis(who would have played a pissed off cop), samuel l. jackson to swear and yell alot and robert deniro to just stand there and look pissed.  then i would have had naked chicks run across the shot every once in a while because hey, tits rule.  then for the movie it would have just been robot fights the whole time. you see, i should be making millions of dollars for waisting people's time, not mongoloid-michael. 

    if you say you loved it, then *** you.  if you liked it, i disagree but we can continue to co-exist. 


  • middle finger.

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    The Patriot  (2000)

    the person that write the reviews for all movie guide is an asshole.

  • bruce willis is awesome all of the time.

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    Mercury Rising  (1998)

    if you ever ponder if a bruce willis movie is worth your time ask yourself this "does he play a pissed off cop?" if the answer is yes then you know right away its going to be one giant display of badassery.

  • i liked it more than the fourty year old virgin

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    Knocked Up  (2007)

    i liked this mvoie alot but i think i have an idea that would have made it better: it does start with an" A" and end with a "bortion."  then we could have spent the last hour of the movie watching Alison deal with post-traumatic stress syndrome.  which means her character would be exactly the same as Izzy from Gay's Anatomy.  cry cry cry. failed relationship failed relationship failed relationship. suck it up.


  • meh

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    after seeing eternal sunshine, i was prepared for this movie to be "crap-my-pants-worthy".  When I was watching it, I found myself looking at the clock periodically because i was bored.  Despite my state, i would persevere in hopes that something cool would happen. Well, the movie ended and I wanted to knee myself in the forehead for sitting through it.  This was a great concept for the movie but the execution was mediocre.  There were a few cool dream sequences, some inventive cinemtograpy and a few funny lines but other than that it was not very good.  In the future, I'll stick to my own dreams.

 

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