list http://www.spout.com/ Recent community activity around Diamonds Are Forever on Spout Copyright 2005-9 Spout, LLC Spout RSS http://www.spout.com/images/SpoutLogoRSS.jpg http://www.spout.com/ 136 30 http://www.spout.com/films/Diamonds_Are_Forever/8998/default.aspx Title: Diamonds Are Forever
Year: 1971
Director: Guy Hamilton
Plot: After George Lazenby portrayed James Bond in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Sean Connery returned to the tux, gimmicks, and catchphrases of Secret Agent 007 in his penultimate Bond outing, Diamonds Are Forever. Fragments of Ian Fleming's original 1954 novel remain, including the characters of the alluring Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) and fey hitmen Wint (Bruce Glover) and Mr. Kidd (Putter Smith). The remainder of Richard Maibaum and Tom Mankiewicz's script diverges dramatically from the novel, involving Bond in a scheme by the insidious Ernst Blofeld (Charles Gray) to force the world powers to disarm so that he can take over the globe. Folksinger Jimmy Dean shows up briefly as a Howard Hughes-like reclusive billionaire, while Lana Wood (Natalie's sister) participates in one of the film's edgiest cliffhangers. Agreeing to make Diamonds Are Forever only because of the money offered him, Sean Connery parted company with the role for 12 years after this film; he returned to the role once more in 1983, for Irvin Kershner's underrated Thunderball remake Never Say Never Again. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide
Times Tagged: 49
Number of Lists: 19
Number of blog posts: 5
Number of discussion threads: 2
SpoutRating: 3
]]>Fri, 24 Jul 2009 18:32:52 GMTDiamonds Are Forever1971Guy HamiltonAfter <a href="/players/P____41054/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>George Lazenby</a> portrayed James Bond in <a href=/films/25356/default.aspx style='text-decoration:underline'>On Her Majesty's Secret Service</a>, <a href="/players/P____10646/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Sean Connery</a> returned to the tux, gimmicks, and catchphrases of Secret Agent 007 in his penultimate <a href=/films/4041/default.aspx style='text-decoration:underline'>Bond</a> outing, Diamonds Are Forever. Fragments of <a href="/players/P____23863/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Ian Fleming</a>'s original 1954 novel remain, including the characters of the alluring Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) and fey hitmen Wint (<a href="/players/P____27275/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Bruce Glover</a>) and Mr. Kidd (Putter Smith). The remainder of <a href="/players/P___100804/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Richard Maibaum</a> and <a href="/players/P___101041/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Tom Mankiewicz</a>'s script diverges dramatically from the novel, involving Bond in a scheme by the insidious Ernst Blofeld (<a href="/players/P____28340/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Charles Gray</a>) to force the world powers to disarm so that he can take over the globe. Folksinger Jimmy Dean shows up briefly as a Howard Hughes-like reclusive billionaire, while <a href="/players/P____77329/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Lana Wood</a> (Natalie's sister) participates in one of the film's edgiest cliffhangers. Agreeing to make Diamonds Are Forever only because of the money offered him, <a href="/players/P____10646/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Sean Connery</a> parted company with the role for 12 years after this film; he returned to the role once more in 1983, for <a href="/players/P____97265/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Irvin Kershner</a>'s underrated <a href=/films/35034/default.aspx style='text-decoration:underline'>Thunderball</a> remake <a href=/films/24349/default.aspx style='text-decoration:underline'>Never Say Never Again</a>. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide49Tag Target (>10)19523http://www.spout.com/ProductImages/u42340iacja.jpghttp://www.spout.com/films/Diamonds_Are_Forever/8998/default.aspxFilm http://www.spout.com/blogs/spoutblog/archive/2009/3/26/41266.aspx Post By: SpoutBlog
Post To: SpoutBlog on spout.com
Post Date: 3/26/2009 10:01:24 AM
Body: Next week, Vin Diesel returns (along with Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordanna Brewster) to the Fast and the Furious franchise, which he’d abandoned after the first movie (he did have a cameo in part 3). When news first hit that he’d be reprising the role of Dominic Toretto for the fourth installment, simply titled Fast & Furious, most of us saw the actor as returning under a veil of shame. Because he initially departed the series with an inflated ego — and with it unrealistic salary demands — it does seem obvious that Diesel is now only desperately crawling back because his career failed to take off the way he’d hoped it would. This is quite sad considering not even Steve Guttenberg ever crawled back to the Police Academy movies, nor did Burt Reynolds ever get dragged back for a fourth Smokey and the Bandit. But there have been other shameful returns by stars to franchises they’d previously sat out of (whether the hiatus was of their own choosing or not). Only one of these may have been as desperate as Diesel now appears, but it’s worth looking at four additional actors and actresses who should be very embarrassed of their delayed reprisals. Karen Allen Returned to: Indiana Jones franchise with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) Karen Allen’s absence from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade after playing the female lead in Raiders of the Lost Ark was not because she believed herself above those sequels. Her character, Marion Ravenwood, simply wasn’t written into them. And her return to the series was surely not because her career needed a boost. Her relative disappearance from films after 1990 was actually for personal reasons (she wanted to devote time to raising her son), not necessarily because she could no longer garner significant roles. So why is she on this list? Because even though it must have been quite tempting to again work with Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford, especially in a role that is beloved by fans, she should have had a little more reserve, because she ended up looking like an easily employed, easily exploited actress. At least she didn’t have to swing through trees, and at least she didn’t receive the brunt of criticism with the film, but the latter fortune is also mostly because she’s given so little to do in the movie. Her participation in the film is largely forgettable, yet her association with the film is not. Instead of bothering with this very disappointing sequel, Allen should have held out for the more necessary Starman follow-up (continuing from where the TV series left off, of course). Sean Connery Returned to: James Bond franchise with Never Say Never Again (1983) Officially, it wasn’t exactly the James Bond franchise, because Never Say Never Again wasn’t made by EON Productions, though this clarification makes Sean Connery’s return to the role of 007 even more shameful. After Diamonds Are Forever, which had already marked his first delayed return as Bond (after the quick interruption of George Lazenby in the part with On Her Majesty’s Secret Service), the actor claimed he’d never return to the role he’d originated onscreen (this led to the film’s title), but obviously he was offered enough money to not only reprise the character but also to slap EON’s Albert Broccoli and Harry Saltzman in the face by agreeing to appear in an unofficial installment initially meant to directly compete head to head with EON’s own Octopussy, which starred Roger Moore as Bond. In agreeing to the film, Connery cemented his reputation for questionable career choices, most clearly influenced by big paychecks. Though he’d previously been enticed by huge offers, including the astonishing $2 million he demanded to come back to Bond for Diamonds, this time he showed a great lack of concern for fans of the Bond franchise through his apparent greediness. Given his love for big money, it’s surprising that he never sold himself out of retirement for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Maybe his asking price has just gotten so out of hand that even Lucas and Spielberg couldn’t afford him. Lorraine Gary Returned to: Jaws franchise with Jaws: The Revenge (1987) She hadn’t been onscreen in eight years, but Lorraine Gary’s absence from films following her appearance in Spielberg’s 1941 was reportedly her choice. Certainly with a husband as powerful as Sid Sheinberg (President of MCA, Inc. for more than 30 years), she didn’t really need to work, and yet for some odd reason she came out of retirement to reprise her role as Ellen Brody for the dreadful fourth installment of Jaws. According to a press release for the movie, Gary claims she was drawn to the script because of how well it explored her character, which deserved more development than Jaws and Jaws II had allowed for. Gary has also admitted that she was partly lured back with the appeal of playing opposite Michael Caine, romantically. But again, with a husband as powerful as Sheinberg, she probably could have been given a better film with which to come back and with which to make out with Caine. Now, she’s unfortunately more memorable for having starred in Jaws: The Revenge than for originating the role in the first film. Gene Hackman Returned to: Superman franchise with Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) Somewhat like Connery (his A Bridge Too Far costar), Gene Hackman ended up returning to a character thanks to a change in producers. He abandoned the Superman franchise after the first film — though he’d shot some scenes for Superman II, so he does appear in the sequel — because Alexander and Ilya Salkind fired Richard Donner as the director of the second installment. So, when new producers Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus took over the series, Hackman was fine with reprising his portrayal of Lex Luthor. Surely there was a big paycheck involved in addition to the appeal of new management, but with an ultimate budget of only $17 million (slashed from the planned $40 million), he couldn’t have gotten away with much. At least Christopher Reeve, in his deal to return to the series, was given the opportunity to star in a pet project, Street Smart. All Hackman ended up with was an embarrassing addition to his resume, one that displayed a lack of concern for Superman fans and a disappointing preference for pay over prestige. Peter Sellers Returned to: Pink Panther franchise with The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Following The Pink Panther and its sequel, A Shot in the Dark, Peter Sellers declined to return to the series, and Alan Arkin took over the role for part 3, Inspector Clouseau. It made sense at the time, as Sellers was still doing quite well through the late 1960s. But after a number of flops in the early ‘70s, Sellers was wooed back to the franchise, obviously with the promise of a lot of money. And another two installments came about with reportedly increased paychecks. In fact, he was set to play Inspector Clouseau in another installment (the series’ seventh, his sixth), but he died before it went into production. Fortunately for his legacy, he also made the wonderful Being There before his death, so he didn’t go out completely on a desperation downturn. Like Sellers’ last few Pink Panther movies, the new Fast and the Furious installment will be a huge hit, but there is a cost of reputation and an increase of shame that comes with the returned wealth and popularity. Then again, Diesel probably isn’t sinking any lower than he did for The Pacifier, right? Originally posted on:SpoutBlog
]]>Thu, 26 Mar 2009 14:01:24 GMTSpoutBlogSpoutBlog on spout.com3/26/2009 10:01:24 AMNext week, Vin Diesel returns (along with Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordanna Brewster) to the Fast and the Furious franchise, which he’d abandoned after the first movie (he did have a cameo in part 3). When news first hit that he’d be reprising the role of Dominic Toretto for the fourth installment, simply titled Fast & Furious, most of us saw the actor as returning under a veil of shame. Because he initially departed the series with an inflated ego — and with it unrealistic salary demands — it does seem obvious that Diesel is now only desperately crawling back because his career failed to take off the way he’d hoped it would. This is quite sad considering not even Steve Guttenberg ever crawled back to the Police Academy movies, nor did Burt Reynolds ever get dragged back for a fourth Smokey and the Bandit. But there have been other shameful returns by stars to franchises they’d previously sat out of (whether the hiatus was of their own choosing or not). Only one of these may have been as desperate as Diesel now appears, but it’s worth looking at four additional actors and actresses who should be very embarrassed of their delayed reprisals. Karen Allen Returned to: Indiana Jones franchise with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) Karen Allen’s absence from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade after playing the female lead in Raiders of the Lost Ark was not because she believed herself above those sequels. Her character, Marion Ravenwood, simply wasn’t written into them. And her return to the series was surely not because her career needed a boost. Her relative disappearance from films after 1990 was actually for personal reasons (she wanted to devote time to raising her son), not necessarily because she could no longer garner significant roles. So why is she on this list? Because even though it must have been quite tempting to again work with Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford, especially in a role that is beloved by fans, she should have had a little more reserve, because she ended up looking like an easily employed, easily exploited actress. At least she didn’t have to swing through trees, and at least she didn’t receive the brunt of criticism with the film, but the latter fortune is also mostly because she’s given so little to do in the movie. Her participation in the film is largely forgettable, yet her association with the film is not. Instead of bothering with this very disappointing sequel, Allen should have held out for the more necessary Starman follow-up (continuing from where the TV series left off, of course). Sean Connery Returned to: James Bond franchise with Never Say Never Again (1983) Officially, it wasn’t exactly the James Bond franchise, because Never Say Never Again wasn’t made by EON Productions, though this clarification makes Sean Connery’s return to the role of 007 even more shameful. After Diamonds Are Forever, which had already marked his first delayed return as Bond (after the quick interruption of George Lazenby in the part with On Her Majesty’s Secret Service), the actor claimed he’d never return to the role he’d originated onscreen (this led to the film’s title), but obviously he was offered enough money to not only reprise the character but also to slap EON’s Albert Broccoli and Harry Saltzman in the face by agreeing to appear in an unofficial installment initially meant to directly compete head to head with EON’s own Octopussy, which starred Roger Moore as Bond. In agreeing to the film, Connery cemented his reputation for questionable career choices, most clearly influenced by big paychecks. Though he’d previously been enticed by huge offers, including the astonishing $2 million he demanded to come back to Bond for Diamonds, this time he showed a great lack of concern for fans of the Bond franchise through his apparent greediness. Given his love for big money, it’s surprising that he never sold himself out of retirement for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Maybe his asking price has just gotten so out of hand that even Lucas and Spielberg couldn’t afford him. Lorraine Gary Returned to: Jaws franchise with Jaws: The Revenge (1987) She hadn’t been onscreen in eight years, but Lorraine Gary’s absence from films following her appearance in Spielberg’s 1941 was reportedly her choice. Certainly with a husband as powerful as Sid Sheinberg (President of MCA, Inc. for more than 30 years), she didn’t really need to work, and yet for some odd reason she came out of retirement to reprise her role as Ellen Brody for the dreadful fourth installment of Jaws. According to a press release for the movie, Gary claims she was drawn to the script because of how well it explored her character, which deserved more development than Jaws and Jaws II had allowed for. Gary has also admitted that she was partly lured back with the appeal of playing opposite Michael Caine, romantically. But again, with a husband as powerful as Sheinberg, she probably could have been given a better film with which to come back and with which to make out with Caine. Now, she’s unfortunately more memorable for having starred in Jaws: The Revenge than for originating the role in the first film. Gene Hackman Returned to: Superman franchise with Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987) Somewhat like Connery (his A Bridge Too Far costar), Gene Hackman ended up returning to a character thanks to a change in producers. He abandoned the Superman franchise after the first film — though he’d shot some scenes for Superman II, so he does appear in the sequel — because Alexander and Ilya Salkind fired Richard Donner as the director of the second installment. So, when new producers Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus took over the series, Hackman was fine with reprising his portrayal of Lex Luthor. Surely there was a big paycheck involved in addition to the appeal of new management, but with an ultimate budget of only $17 million (slashed from the planned $40 million), he couldn’t have gotten away with much. At least Christopher Reeve, in his deal to return to the series, was given the opportunity to star in a pet project, Street Smart. All Hackman ended up with was an embarrassing addition to his resume, one that displayed a lack of concern for Superman fans and a disappointing preference for pay over prestige. Peter Sellers Returned to: Pink Panther franchise with The Return of the Pink Panther (1975) Following The Pink Panther and its sequel, A Shot in the Dark, Peter Sellers declined to return to the series, and Alan Arkin took over the role for part 3, Inspector Clouseau. It made sense at the time, as Sellers was still doing quite well through the late 1960s. But after a number of flops in the early ‘70s, Sellers was wooed back to the franchise, obviously with the promise of a lot of money. And another two installments came about with reportedly increased paychecks. In fact, he was set to play Inspector Clouseau in another installment (the series’ seventh, his sixth), but he died before it went into production. Fortunately for his legacy, he also made the wonderful Being There before his death, so he didn’t go out completely on a desperation downturn. Like Sellers’ last few Pink Panther movies, the new Fast and the Furious installment will be a huge hit, but there is a cost of reputation and an increase of shame that comes with the returned wealth and popularity. Then again, Diesel probably isn’t sinking any lower than he did for The Pacifier, right? Originally posted on:SpoutBlog http://www.spout.com/blogs/spoutblog/archive/2008/11/10/37148.aspx Post By: SpoutBlog
Post To: SpoutBlog on spout.com
Post Date: 11/10/2008 12:01:10 PM
Body: “Shaken, not stirred.” “Hello, Moneypenny.” “Bond, James Bond.” These are some of the classic lines you hear in nearly every James Bond film. Then there are lines that are unique to each film, and that stick with you after you’ve seen them. Lines like: “No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!” - Auric Goldfinger in Goldfinger “Good choice, she is very sexiful.” - Tiger Tanaka in You Only Live Twice “Now put your clothes back on and I’ll buy you an ice cream” - James Bond in For Your Eyes Only But what Bond movies excel at — besides action, intrigue, and sex — is pure, unadulterated cheese. These films have given us some of the cheesiest lines in the history of filmmaking, and the updated Daniel Craig movies are no exception. From Sean Connery on down, the actors in Bond films have had to deliver cringe-inducing dialog from time to time. We remember the worst after the jump. Goldfinger Pussy: “My name is Pussy Galore” Bond: “I must be dreaming.” Now, this isn’t exactly cheese per se, but it did establish the long-running gag of having women with names that drip with sexual innuendo. You could probably argue that Ursula Andress first established this in Dr. No as Honey Ryder, but there probably hasn’t been as blatant a name as Pussy Galore until Austin Powers met Alotta Fagina. Although Holly Goodhead from Moonraker might rate a close second, and you can’t forget Octopussy from… Octopussy. In the new Casino Royale they poke fun at this naming scheme when Daniel Craig’s Bond jokingly tells Vesper that her cover name is “Stephanie Broadchest.” Diamonds Are Forever Blofeld: “The satellite is at present over… Kansas. Well, if we destroy Kansas the world may not hear about it for years. Perhaps New York, with all that smut and traffic… might give them a chance for a fresh start. Washington, DC. Perfect. Since we have not heard from them, they will hear from us.” - Blofeld in Diamonds Are Forever Admittedly, this is my favorite Bond film, and it pains me to include this line, but it just doesn’t work. Blofeld is a criminal mastermind, and preparing to obliterate a massive target with his diamond-powered superlaser, and this bit of cheese is the best thing they could come up with? Yes, he’s an evil arch-villain and all that jazz, but that doesn’t mean he’s coocoo for Cocoa Puffs. I wonder how people who lived in Kansas felt about this line. They probably either chuckled, or else swore off all Bond movies from that moment on. It’s just too goofy for a classic villain to be say before firing what amounts to a miniature Death Star. Even though the guy was bald and carried a white cat around, he was still a pretty creepy nemeis for Bond. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Bond: “This never happened to the other fellow.” - George Lazenby’s James Bond, directly to the camera When Sean Connery finally retired from James Bond duty, producers tapped George Lazenby to fill his shoes. In the opening scene of the movie, Lazenby’s Bond rescues a girl from drowning, carries her to shore, and then is attacked by thugs. Although he eventually beats them, the girl zooms off in her car, leaving Bond with only her shoes in his hands. Then he delivers the above line to the camera. In today’s terms the producers would have been texting each other saying “LOLZ! Get it?! OMG WTF! LMFAO!” Seriously, did we really need this line? Maybe in a tongue-in-cheek commercial or something, but not in the first film introducing a new Bond. It makes it all a bit too meta and goofy. The Spy Who Loved Me M: “Moneypenny, where’s 007?” Monneypenny: “He’s on a mission sir. In Austria.” M: “Well, tell him to pull out. Immediately.” Of course, the scene then cuts to a scene of Bond in bed with a woman. Ah, the comic high-larity! Roger Moore’s James Bond films somehow gave themselves a license to cheese, with Moore himself often delivering some of the campiest lines. In this movie’s final scene, Bond and his female Russian superspy counterpart Triple X (nice name, eh?) are found in bed together by their respective bosses. When asked what he’s doing, Bond replied, “Keeping the British end up, sir.” It wouldn’t be his last trip into the cheese. For Your Eyes Only The Prime Minister (on the phone): “Ah, Mr. Bond. I wanted to call you personally and to say how pleased we all are that your mission was a success. Thank you.” Parrot: “Thank you, thank you.” The Prime Minister: “Don’t thank me, Mr. Bond. Your courage and resourcefulness are a credit to the nation. Denis and I look forward to meeting you. Meanwhile, if there is anything I can do for you… Parrot: “Give us a kiss, give us a kiss.” The Prime Minster: “Well, really, Mr. Bond.” Continuing yet another tradition in the Bond movies of having Bond getting back into bed with a woman he’s met over the course of the film, this movie was no different. Except it continued Moore’s habit of cheesy lines at the end of the films. Bond puts the phone down near a parrot when the Prime Minister calls to congratulate him, and ends up speaking to the parrot. Were they saying that the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was as stupid as a post and couldn’t tell when she was a talking to a bird? Still, as cheesy as it is, it’s still not as bad as… Moonraker Sir Frederick Gray, Minister of Defense: “My God, what’s Bond doing?” Q: “I think he’s attempting re-entry, sir.” At the end of this movie, the Minister of Defense calls to congratulate Bond on another job well done, and they dial him up on a space-age video phone to the space shuttle that Bond and Dr. Goodhead are in. Of course, they’re wrapped up in silver sheets and having some zero-gravity intercourse, which Bond must feel the urge to do every time he’s saved the world. In Q’s defense he’s looking at a graphical represenation of Bond’s flight, which still doesn’t forgive this ultra-cheesy line. A View To A Kill May Day: “Wow! What a view!” Max Zorin: “To a kill!” Easily my least favorite James Bond film, and it also has another pet peeve of mine in it: characters say the name of the movie script. Grace Jones’ May Day and Christopher Walken’s Max Zorin characters are hovering over Silicon Valley, about to see their plan work, and these are the two lines you get? Although you can’t really expect anything more out of this movie. Between Walken’s wild-haired Zorin, Grace Jones’ creepy May Day, and Roger Moore as James Bond in New York wearing a leather jacket to look “cool,” there wasn’t much to offer. Sadly, the Duran Duran title song was the best thing about this movie. License to Kill Bond: “I guess it’s… a farewell to arms.” Timothy Dalton’s Bond was a good deal darker and grittier than Roger Moore, and he played the role in a much more serious manner. In this movie, Bond hands in his resignation and goes rogue in order to take down the killers who brutally murdered the new wife of his close friend Felix Leiter. M immediately strips him of his Double 0 status and demands he hand in his firearm. This scene would have a lot more impact if Bond could have managed it without the quip at the end. In Dalton’s previous outing as Bond, The Living Daylights, he refers to a female sniper, “Whoever she was, I must have scared the living daylights out of her.” GoldenEye Xenia Onatopp: “You don’t need the gun.” James Bond: “Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex.” Besides giving us a brand new Bond who represented a complete return to the joking days of Roger Moore with Pierce Brosnan, this movie also gave us another Bond girl with a sexual name, Xenia Onatopp. It also gave us new cheesy lines, like the one above. James Bond making a safe sex joke about a gun is certainly something you’d never experience back in the Connery days. Somehow Brosnan was able to pull off his glib remarks better than Moore ever did. Moore always seemed like he was about to crack up, but Brosnan kept it under a cool exterior. Although he did provide us with the cheesiest line in the history of James Bond movies… The World Is Not Enough James Bond: “I was wrong about you.” Christmas Jones: “Yeah, how so?” James Bond: “I thought Christmas only comes once a year.” People I know still groan and quote this line from the end of the film which finds Brosnan’s Bond and Denise Richards’ Dr. Christmas Jones in post-coital bliss. You had to know there was going to be some kind of a Christmas joke based on past Bond movies, but this one really was like a punch in the stomach. I remember thinking, “Oh he didn’t just say… he did. Holy crap, Pierce Brosnan, you’re dead to me.” I’ve probably mellowed out these past few years, but you just can’t buy Denise Richards as an extremly busty girl who dresses in short shorts and is trying to pass herself off as a nuclear physicist. Originally posted on:SpoutBlog
]]>Mon, 10 Nov 2008 17:01:10 GMTSpoutBlogSpoutBlog on spout.com11/10/2008 12:01:10 PM “Shaken, not stirred.” “Hello, Moneypenny.” “Bond, James Bond.” These are some of the classic lines you hear in nearly every James Bond film. Then there are lines that are unique to each film, and that stick with you after you’ve seen them. Lines like: “No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!” - Auric Goldfinger in Goldfinger “Good choice, she is very sexiful.” - Tiger Tanaka in You Only Live Twice “Now put your clothes back on and I’ll buy you an ice cream” - James Bond in For Your Eyes Only But what Bond movies excel at — besides action, intrigue, and sex — is pure, unadulterated cheese. These films have given us some of the cheesiest lines in the history of filmmaking, and the updated Daniel Craig movies are no exception. From Sean Connery on down, the actors in Bond films have had to deliver cringe-inducing dialog from time to time. We remember the worst after the jump. Goldfinger Pussy: “My name is Pussy Galore” Bond: “I must be dreaming.” Now, this isn’t exactly cheese per se, but it did establish the long-running gag of having women with names that drip with sexual innuendo. You could probably argue that Ursula Andress first established this in Dr. No as Honey Ryder, but there probably hasn’t been as blatant a name as Pussy Galore until Austin Powers met Alotta Fagina. Although Holly Goodhead from Moonraker might rate a close second, and you can’t forget Octopussy from… Octopussy. In the new Casino Royale they poke fun at this naming scheme when Daniel Craig’s Bond jokingly tells Vesper that her cover name is “Stephanie Broadchest.” Diamonds Are Forever Blofeld: “The satellite is at present over… Kansas. Well, if we destroy Kansas the world may not hear about it for years. Perhaps New York, with all that smut and traffic… might give them a chance for a fresh start. Washington, DC. Perfect. Since we have not heard from them, they will hear from us.” - Blofeld in Diamonds Are Forever Admittedly, this is my favorite Bond film, and it pains me to include this line, but it just doesn’t work. Blofeld is a criminal mastermind, and preparing to obliterate a massive target with his diamond-powered superlaser, and this bit of cheese is the best thing they could come up with? Yes, he’s an evil arch-villain and all that jazz, but that doesn’t mean he’s coocoo for Cocoa Puffs. I wonder how people who lived in Kansas felt about this line. They probably either chuckled, or else swore off all Bond movies from that moment on. It’s just too goofy for a classic villain to be say before firing what amounts to a miniature Death Star. Even though the guy was bald and carried a white cat around, he was still a pretty creepy nemeis for Bond. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Bond: “This never happened to the other fellow.” - George Lazenby’s James Bond, directly to the camera When Sean Connery finally retired from James Bond duty, producers tapped George Lazenby to fill his shoes. In the opening scene of the movie, Lazenby’s Bond rescues a girl from drowning, carries her to shore, and then is attacked by thugs. Although he eventually beats them, the girl zooms off in her car, leaving Bond with only her shoes in his hands. Then he delivers the above line to the camera. In today’s terms the producers would have been texting each other saying “LOLZ! Get it?! OMG WTF! LMFAO!” Seriously, did we really need this line? Maybe in a tongue-in-cheek commercial or something, but not in the first film introducing a new Bond. It makes it all a bit too meta and goofy. The Spy Who Loved Me M: “Moneypenny, where’s 007?” Monneypenny: “He’s on a mission sir. In Austria.” M: “Well, tell him to pull out. Immediately.” Of course, the scene then cuts to a scene of Bond in bed with a woman. Ah, the comic high-larity! Roger Moore’s James Bond films somehow gave themselves a license to cheese, with Moore himself often delivering some of the campiest lines. In this movie’s final scene, Bond and his female Russian superspy counterpart Triple X (nice name, eh?) are found in bed together by their respective bosses. When asked what he’s doing, Bond replied, “Keeping the British end up, sir.” It wouldn’t be his last trip into the cheese. For Your Eyes Only The Prime Minister (on the phone): “Ah, Mr. Bond. I wanted to call you personally and to say how pleased we all are that your mission was a success. Thank you.” Parrot: “Thank you, thank you.” The Prime Minister: “Don’t thank me, Mr. Bond. Your courage and resourcefulness are a credit to the nation. Denis and I look forward to meeting you. Meanwhile, if there is anything I can do for you… Parrot: “Give us a kiss, give us a kiss.” The Prime Minster: “Well, really, Mr. Bond.” Continuing yet another tradition in the Bond movies of having Bond getting back into bed with a woman he’s met over the course of the film, this movie was no different. Except it continued Moore’s habit of cheesy lines at the end of the films. Bond puts the phone down near a parrot when the Prime Minister calls to congratulate him, and ends up speaking to the parrot. Were they saying that the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom was as stupid as a post and couldn’t tell when she was a talking to a bird? Still, as cheesy as it is, it’s still not as bad as… Moonraker Sir Frederick Gray, Minister of Defense: “My God, what’s Bond doing?” Q: “I think he’s attempting re-entry, sir.” At the end of this movie, the Minister of Defense calls to congratulate Bond on another job well done, and they dial him up on a space-age video phone to the space shuttle that Bond and Dr. Goodhead are in. Of course, they’re wrapped up in silver sheets and having some zero-gravity intercourse, which Bond must feel the urge to do every time he’s saved the world. In Q’s defense he’s looking at a graphical represenation of Bond’s flight, which still doesn’t forgive this ultra-cheesy line. A View To A Kill May Day: “Wow! What a view!” Max Zorin: “To a kill!” Easily my least favorite James Bond film, and it also has another pet peeve of mine in it: characters say the name of the movie script. Grace Jones’ May Day and Christopher Walken’s Max Zorin characters are hovering over Silicon Valley, about to see their plan work, and these are the two lines you get? Although you can’t really expect anything more out of this movie. Between Walken’s wild-haired Zorin, Grace Jones’ creepy May Day, and Roger Moore as James Bond in New York wearing a leather jacket to look “cool,” there wasn’t much to offer. Sadly, the Duran Duran title song was the best thing about this movie. License to Kill Bond: “I guess it’s… a farewell to arms.” Timothy Dalton’s Bond was a good deal darker and grittier than Roger Moore, and he played the role in a much more serious manner. In this movie, Bond hands in his resignation and goes rogue in order to take down the killers who brutally murdered the new wife of his close friend Felix Leiter. M immediately strips him of his Double 0 status and demands he hand in his firearm. This scene would have a lot more impact if Bond could have managed it without the quip at the end. In Dalton’s previous outing as Bond, The Living Daylights, he refers to a female sniper, “Whoever she was, I must have scared the living daylights out of her.” GoldenEye Xenia Onatopp: “You don’t need the gun.” James Bond: “Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex.” Besides giving us a brand new Bond who represented a complete return to the joking days of Roger Moore with Pierce Brosnan, this movie also gave us another Bond girl with a sexual name, Xenia Onatopp. It also gave us new cheesy lines, like the one above. James Bond making a safe sex joke about a gun is certainly something you’d never experience back in the Connery days. Somehow Brosnan was able to pull off his glib remarks better than Moore ever did. Moore always seemed like he was about to crack up, but Brosnan kept it under a cool exterior. Although he did provide us with the cheesiest line in the history of James Bond movies… The World Is Not Enough James Bond: “I was wrong about you.” Christmas Jones: “Yeah, how so?” James Bond: “I thought Christmas only comes once a year.” People I know still groan and quote this line from the end of the film which finds Brosnan’s Bond and Denise Richards’ Dr. Christmas Jones in post-coital bliss. You had to know there was going to be some kind of a Christmas joke based on past Bond movies, but this one really was like a punch in the stomach. I remember thinking, “Oh he didn’t just say… he did. Holy crap, Pierce Brosnan, you’re dead to me.” I’ve probably mellowed out these past few years, but you just can’t buy Denise Richards as an extremly busty girl who dresses in short shorts and is trying to pass herself off as a nuclear physicist. Originally posted on:SpoutBlog http://www.spout.com/blogs/cinemarian/archive/2008/5/13/28970.aspx Post By: CinemaRian
Post To: CinemaRian Blog
Post Date: 5/13/2008 7:49:05 PM
Body: Lets all take some time away from our busy lives and consider the vitally important issue of James Bond movies. Its odd how these things endure- the longest running series in the history of movies has never had the cultural or cinematic impact that Star Wars had in six films or The Godfather in three. No really noteworthy filmmaker has ever directed an official entry into the series, even the best of the films never end up on 100 Greatest Movie lists, and the best actor to play Bond, Sean Connery, disliked the series and tried to distance himself from it. But somehow every few years theres a Bond movie, and they always seem to make enough money to guarantee another. I think the appeal lies in the same reason people watch TV shows: the films repetitive in a good way. You know you aregoing to get basically the same thing in every Bond movie, and the pleasure comes from seeing slight variations on the theme, such as the different villain or leading lady. Diamonds are Forever is the seventh Bond film that I have seen (Ive seen them in order, so it is also the seventh made), and it is the best so far. It is the only one that is never boring at any point, and the movie takes itself less seriously than the previous films. The humor is actually one of the films strongest points, as it manages to understand its own silliness without going into super-camp territory. A particularly pleasure is watching Connery impersonate different people, such as a Dutch businessman or a mourner at a funeral. Beyond saying that the movie involves a ring of diamond thieves, summarizing the plot is pointless, as you know whats going to happen if youve seen any other Bond movie. What makes the film so watchable is that the boring parts of the previous movies- long, long expository scenes, unexciting romances are treated in a more exciting and verbose manner here. This films Bond girl, Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) is more quirky then the others, and she has good chemistry with the star. This is Connerys last performance as Bond in an official entry, and its also his best- hes finally allowed to have fun with the character, and do some comedy scenes. Despite the improvements, the movie still has one of the series drawbacks- hardcore sexism. St. John spends the last half hour of the movie in a bikini for no reasons, and she is shown to be nearly incompetent in helping Bond. Adding to this is some ugly homophobia- two of the villains are gay for no reason other than the fact that they are villains, and say things like Shes good looking- for a woman. As I said earlier, this is the best Bond Ive seen so far and fans of this sort of movie will want to take a look. Its also a great introduction to the series if youve never seen an installment. Since they made twenty one films of essentially the same thing, you might as well see the best. Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
]]>Tue, 13 May 2008 23:49:05 GMTCinemaRianCinemaRian Blog5/13/2008 7:49:05 PMLets all take some time away from our busy lives and consider the vitally important issue of James Bond movies. Its odd how these things endure- the longest running series in the history of movies has never had the cultural or cinematic impact that Star Wars had in six films or The Godfather in three. No really noteworthy filmmaker has ever directed an official entry into the series, even the best of the films never end up on 100 Greatest Movie lists, and the best actor to play Bond, Sean Connery, disliked the series and tried to distance himself from it. But somehow every few years theres a Bond movie, and they always seem to make enough money to guarantee another. I think the appeal lies in the same reason people watch TV shows: the films repetitive in a good way. You know you aregoing to get basically the same thing in every Bond movie, and the pleasure comes from seeing slight variations on the theme, such as the different villain or leading lady. Diamonds are Forever is the seventh Bond film that I have seen (Ive seen them in order, so it is also the seventh made), and it is the best so far. It is the only one that is never boring at any point, and the movie takes itself less seriously than the previous films. The humor is actually one of the films strongest points, as it manages to understand its own silliness without going into super-camp territory. A particularly pleasure is watching Connery impersonate different people, such as a Dutch businessman or a mourner at a funeral. Beyond saying that the movie involves a ring of diamond thieves, summarizing the plot is pointless, as you know whats going to happen if youve seen any other Bond movie. What makes the film so watchable is that the boring parts of the previous movies- long, long expository scenes, unexciting romances are treated in a more exciting and verbose manner here. This films Bond girl, Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) is more quirky then the others, and she has good chemistry with the star. This is Connerys last performance as Bond in an official entry, and its also his best- hes finally allowed to have fun with the character, and do some comedy scenes. Despite the improvements, the movie still has one of the series drawbacks- hardcore sexism. St. John spends the last half hour of the movie in a bikini for no reasons, and she is shown to be nearly incompetent in helping Bond. Adding to this is some ugly homophobia- two of the villains are gay for no reason other than the fact that they are villains, and say things like Shes good looking- for a woman. As I said earlier, this is the best Bond Ive seen so far and fans of this sort of movie will want to take a look. Its also a great introduction to the series if youve never seen an installment. Since they made twenty one films of essentially the same thing, you might as well see the best. Diamonds Are Forever (1971) http://www.spout.com/blogs/mully/archive/2008/3/1/25753.aspx Post By: Mully
Post To: Mully Blog
Post Date: 3/1/2008 8:29:31 AM
Body: I don't know if it's the desert locations or the kooky characters, but Diamonds Are Forever feels like James Bond directed by Russ Meyer. Lucky for me I like Russ Meyer movies. This is certainly not one of the strongest entries in the Bond-series, mostly because of the uninspired action sequences and a plot that doesn't particularly go anywhere. On the other hand the film has some redeeming ingredients, such as a very hot Bond-girl (Jill St. John) and perhaps the best sidekick villains in the series: Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint.
]]>Sat, 01 Mar 2008 13:29:31 GMTMullyMully Blog3/1/2008 8:29:31 AMI don&#39;t know if it&#39;s the desert locations or the kooky characters, but Diamonds Are Forever feels like James Bond directed by Russ Meyer. Lucky for me I like Russ Meyer movies. This is certainly not one of the strongest entries in the Bond-series, mostly because of the uninspired action sequences and a plot that doesn&#39;t particularly go anywhere. On the other hand the film has some redeeming ingredients, such as a very hot Bond-girl (Jill St. John) and perhaps the best sidekick villains in the series: Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint. http://www.spout.com/groups/Bond_Beyond/Re_Rank_James_Bond_Films/10/17827/1/ShowPost.aspx Post By: pgiglio
Post To: Bond & Beyond
Post Date: 8/11/2007 1:50:59 AM
Body: As a long time fan of the James Bond franchise, I have altered this list many times over the years. This is where I currently stand.On Her Majesty's Secret Service (4 stars)From Russia With Love (4 stars)Casino Royale (3 1/2 stars)Dr No (3 1/2 stars)Goldfinger (3 1/2 stars)The Living Daylights (3 1/2 stars)For Your Eyes Only (3 stars)Diamonds Are Forever (3 stars)The Spy Who Loved Me (3 stars)Thunderball (3 stars)Goldeneye (3 stars)Octopussy (3 stars)You Only Live Twice (2 1/2 stars)The Man with the Golden Gun (2 1/2 stars)License To Kill (2 1/2 stars)The World is Not Enough (2 1/2 stars)Live and Let Die (2 stars)Tomorrow Never Dies (2 stars)Die Another Day (2 stars)A View To a Kill (1 1/2 stars)Moonraker (1/2 star)The only two films listed here that I really thought were out of place in the series were A View to a Kill and Moonraker. Daniel Craig does a nice job of filling the role of bond and I look forward to the Casino Royale sequel. For those interested, Never Say Never again and the original Casino Royale are not part of the James Bond franchise. Interesting side note: Bond titles that mention death in any of its wonderous forms for some reason usually don't meet the expectations of the series. Thank you.
]]>Sat, 11 Aug 2007 05:50:59 GMTpgiglioBond & Beyond8/11/2007 1:50:59 AMAs a long time fan of the James Bond franchise, I have altered this list many times over the years. This is where I currently stand.On Her Majesty&#39;s Secret Service (4 stars)From Russia With Love (4 stars)Casino Royale (3 1/2 stars)Dr No (3 1/2 stars)Goldfinger (3 1/2 stars)The Living Daylights (3 1/2 stars)For Your Eyes Only (3 stars)Diamonds Are Forever (3 stars)The Spy Who Loved Me (3 stars)Thunderball (3 stars)Goldeneye (3 stars)Octopussy (3 stars)You Only Live Twice (2 1/2 stars)The Man with the Golden Gun (2 1/2 stars)License To Kill (2 1/2 stars)The World is Not Enough (2 1/2 stars)Live and Let Die (2 stars)Tomorrow Never Dies (2 stars)Die Another Day (2 stars)A View To a Kill (1 1/2 stars)Moonraker (1/2 star)The only two films listed here that I really thought were out of place in the series were A View to a Kill and Moonraker. Daniel Craig does a nice job of filling the role of bond and I look forward to the Casino Royale sequel. For those interested, Never Say Never again and the original Casino Royale are not part of the James Bond franchise. Interesting side note: Bond titles that mention death in any of its wonderous forms for some reason usually don&#39;t meet the expectations of the series. Thank you. http://www.spout.com/groups/Bond_Beyond/Rank_James_Bond_Films/10/16722/1/ShowPost.aspx Post By: Windbreaker
Post To: Bond & Beyond
Post Date: 7/28/2007 3:27:46 PM
Body: I haven't seen any signs of recent life on this board, but will throw out a suggestion... RANK THE BOND FILMS. Against each other, of course, not necessarily individual ratings. A friend of mine challenged me to re-watch them chronologically and as quickly as possible. We each made our own notes along the way and ranked them. The ranking below was created prior to DIE ANOTHER DAY, so I need to consider where it fits in. I will tell you exactly where CASINO ROYALE fits in (see below). This is all very subjective, but I'd be interested to see other's thoughts. For example, do you loathe YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE because of its finale or do you forgive that portion and rank it higher? Enough babbling, on with my ranking.From Russia with LoveThunderballGoldeneyeCasino RoyaleOn Her Majesty’s Secret ServiceThe Living DaylightsDr NoTomorrow Never DiesThe Spy Who Loved MeLicense To KillGoldfingerFor Your Eyes OnlyLive and Let DieThe World Is Not EnoughOctopussyThe Man with the Golden Gun Die Another DayA View To A KillDiamonds Are ForeverMoonrakerYou Only Live TwiceThe order will certainly change, but I doubt too dramatically. I'm now re-watching the newly remastered DVDs. FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE looked and sounded awesome.
]]>Sat, 28 Jul 2007 19:27:46 GMTWindbreakerBond & Beyond7/28/2007 3:27:46 PMI haven&#39;t seen any signs of recent life on this board, but will throw out a suggestion... RANK THE BOND FILMS. Against each other, of course, not necessarily individual ratings. A friend of mine challenged me to re-watch them chronologically and as quickly as possible. We each made our own notes along the way and ranked them. The ranking below was created prior to DIE ANOTHER DAY, so I need to consider where it fits in. I will tell you exactly where CASINO ROYALE fits in (see below). This is all very subjective, but I&#39;d be interested to see other&#39;s thoughts. For example, do you loathe YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE because of its finale or do you forgive that portion and rank it higher? Enough babbling, on with my ranking.From Russia with LoveThunderballGoldeneyeCasino RoyaleOn Her Majesty&rsquo;s Secret ServiceThe Living DaylightsDr NoTomorrow Never DiesThe Spy Who Loved MeLicense To KillGoldfingerFor Your Eyes OnlyLive and Let DieThe World Is Not EnoughOctopussyThe Man with the Golden Gun Die Another DayA View To A KillDiamonds Are ForeverMoonrakerYou Only Live TwiceThe order will certainly change, but I doubt too dramatically. I&#39;m now re-watching the newly remastered DVDs. FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE looked and sounded awesome. http://www.spout.com/blogs/hairylime/archive/2007/2/5/5270.aspx Post By: HairyLime
Post To: HairyLime Blog
Post Date: 2/5/2007 11:24:00 AM
Body: I have to admit, I have been away from the Bond franchise for some time. The last one I saw was 'Goldeneye', and while I thought it was a cut above the previous few entries, I was getting a little tired of the concept, thinking "how long can they keep milking this?" -- Well we had heard that this new Bond Daniel Craig was worth a look, so we ventured out to our local multiplex to check him out around December. Additionally, the 'Encore' channel started running all the old Bonds around the New Year (and if you got the 'on demand' option with your cable service, you could watch all of them at your leisure in widescreen no less!), so around here, we've been thoroughly drenched in Bond for the past few months. This weekend, we were snowed in and watched one of the more recent Pierce Brosnan entries, so with all this is mind, I thought I'd do an overview of the 007 pantheon (at least the ones I've seen, who knows how many times by now).I have to start by qualifying some of my prejudices about the series. I cut a lot of slack for the early ones. Budgets were low, the mindsets were different, audiences weren't quite so demanding of constant 'bang for the buck' as they are today. Sean Connery is still the favorite, and I will never understand how Roger Moore survived as long as he did.Dr. No (1962) - The franchise started the year I was born, but I didn't actually see this film until the mid-eighties video boom. Recently revisited it thanks to the Encore channel last month. Sean Connery sets the standard for the cool playboy secret agent, handles himself well in fights, makes snappy double entendres and Ursula Andress in her bikini and knife-belt combo is probably the most iconic of 'Bond girls'. Action-wise, the film is a little slow, but it has the proto-typical 'evil genius' and 'hidden island lair'. From Russia With Love (1963) - Haven't seen this one since the seventies, so its not fair to review this one. I seem to remember Robert Shaw was an impressive baddie, and the weird little woman with the pointy shoes was probably the model for the female evil sidekick character in the 'Austin Powers' movies.Goldfinger (1964) - Good villain, wierd henchman (with a lethal bowler hat no less), and Bond girl with the best name ("Pussy Galore") - Great car, good memorable lines "I expect you to die, Mr. Bond!" and the best of the theme songs.Thunderball (1965) - Remade as 'Never Say Never Again' in the eighties. Never a good idea to include scuba chase scenes, they really slow down the action. Good Tom Jones theme song. Haven't seen this one since the eighties, so I'll pass on more comments.You Only Live Twice (1967) - The goofiest of the Sean Connery films. Check out Bond in Japanese makeup made to pass as a native. Very cliche villain and volcano hideaway which was probably the model for Dr. Evil in the 'Austin Powers' films. Bond flies around in a mini helicopter with 4 distinct weapons onboard, and is chased by and dispatches - you guessed it - 4 helicopters. You can usually tell how weak the franchise is getting by how many techno gadgets get introduced.Casino Royale (1967) - A testament to how stale the franchise was becoming, it was ripe for lampoon. Not worth a look, this is a total mess. But maybe worth a peek at the final reel just to catch Woody Allen's bit as the evil 'James Bond Jr.'On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969) - Saw this for the first time last month. Not as bad as I was expecting. Telly Savalas makes a rather lame villain which is probably the biggest flaw. Diana Rigg is appealling and a nice tough mate for James. George Lazenby is a little on the dry side, but handles himself well, has a lot of good one liners. Ski chase scenes aplenty (and we'll be getting many more of them in the future, unfortunately).Diamonds Are Forever (1971) - Connery comes back, looking a little pudgy, but still holding his own. This one has my favorite Bond double entendre when he comments on Jill St. John's wig change : "as long as the cuffs and collars match" - colorful villainous henchmen, just bordering on spoofery, the usual evil genius villain with an exotic hideaway that needs to be stormed. Not bad, but needs fresh ideas badly.Live and Let Die (1973) - Enter Roger Moore. Great theme song. Colorful villains and voodoo setting. A nice boat chase. Overall though, this Bond seems to play everything a little too much for laughs. A constant smirk on his face and the fact that he never looked believable in the fight scenes always left me a little cold on Roger Moore.The Man With the Golden Gun (1974) - More silliness. Killer midgets, another boat chase with the same southern sherrif along for the ride. We are in serious 'sequel-itis' territory now. Just treading water.The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) - Tried watching this one last month, couldn't get interested. 'Jaws' makes his first appearance. It just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. Moonraker (1979) - More 'Jaws'. Slow motion outer space climax (pardon the pun). Tied for a three way "worst bond film ever" award.For Your Eyes Only (1981) - Almost palatable Roger Moore bond. (more skiing though - probably easier to hide the stunt man beneath all the protective gear). Topol makes a good ally/sidekick. Revenge seeking crossbow weilding bond girl is a nice touch.Octopussy (1983) - More silliness. Maud Adams again for some reason (wasn't she killed off in 'Golden Gun'?) Girly Circus Troupe. Ok. (three way "worst bond film ever" winner)Never Say Never Again (1983) - To underscore how badly the franchise needs a facelift, but not quite the facelift it needed, Sean Connery goes back at it again in this 'unofficial' remake of 'Thunderball'. Beats the current 'official' Bond movies hands down, but still needs a younger actor in the role. Good villain turn by Klaus Maria Brandauer. A View To a Kill (1985) - Badly in need of a makeover now. Roger Moore is looking quite old and frail by this time and the pairings with the young girls is starting to earn catcalls. Grace Jones and Christopher Walken and Duran Duran title song. (three way "worst bond film ever" winner)The Living Daylights (1987) - Timothy Dalton takes over. While he has a good British theatrical delivery and seems to have a lot of severe intensity, he strikes me as being a bit of a 98 lb weakling in the brawn department. 'AIDS awareness Bond' spends much more time out of bed in the next few movies and more time with small potatoes bad guys and outlandish action sequences. An improvement on Roger Moore at any rate.Licence to Kill (1989) - Revisited last month. Good final chase scene (if not a little improbable - semi trucks doing wheelies?) - Grim determined Timothy Dalton goes on a revenge spree and brings Q along for the ride. Good creepy villain. Funny cameo by Wayne Newton as a new age guru.Goldeneye (1995) - Pierce Brosnan takes over. Refreshing to see the sex jokes back in the mix. Good over the top action sequences (love the tank chase scene). Bond is back in a good way. But oddly enough its not enough to sustain my interest and I end up missing the next three at the theater. Nice touch bringing in Judi Dench as M. Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) - haven't seen it yetThe World Is Not Enough (1999) - Saw this one last weekend. Good villain, good 'bad bond girl' - extremely silly 'good bond girl' (who buys Denise Richards as a nuclear scientist?) - Good enough Bond flick, but we seem to be getting back to a bit of Roger Moore-ishness in the spoof/seriousness ratio.Die Another Day (2002) - haven't seen it yetCasino Royale (2006) - Wow. Bond taken a bit more seriously ala 'Batman Begins'. Daniel Craig actually looks like he can 'take a licking and keep on ticking'. And I love the 'Bond with an attitude' persona he puts forward, reminds me of Connery in his youth. Favorite line: Bond: "give me a vodka martini" Bartender: "shaken or stirred?" Bond: "do I look like I give a damn?" - And doesn't everyone need a car with a built-in defibulator?Looking forward to where this goes next... addendum: A few other 'Spy Films' that might help take away the bad taste of 'too much Bond' - "The Spy Who Came In From the Cold" with Richard Burton, "Three Days of the Condor" with Robert Redford, and recently "The Constant Gardener" with Ralph Fiennes -- they treat the 'glamorous world of spy-dom' with a generous dose of skepticism and a refreshingly bleak world view.
]]>Mon, 05 Feb 2007 16:24:00 GMTHairyLimeHairyLime Blog2/5/2007 11:24:00 AMI have to admit, I have been away from the Bond franchise for some time. The last one I saw was &#39;Goldeneye&#39;, and while I thought it was a cut above the previous few entries, I was getting a little tired of the concept, thinking "how long can they keep milking this?" -- Well we had heard that this new Bond Daniel Craig was worth a look, so we ventured out to our local multiplex to check him out around December. Additionally, the &#39;Encore&#39; channel started running all the old Bonds around the New Year (and if you got the &#39;on demand&#39; option with your cable service, you could watch all of them at your leisure in widescreen no less!), so around here, we&#39;ve been thoroughly drenched in Bond for the past few months. This weekend, we were snowed in and watched one of the more recent Pierce Brosnan entries, so with all this is mind, I thought I&#39;d do an overview of the 007 pantheon (at least the ones I&#39;ve seen, who knows how many times by now).I have to start by qualifying some of my prejudices about the series. I cut a lot of slack for the early ones. Budgets were low, the mindsets were different, audiences weren&#39;t quite so demanding of constant &#39;bang for the buck&#39; as they are today. Sean Connery is still the favorite, and I will never understand how Roger Moore survived as long as he did.Dr. No (1962) - The franchise started the year I was born, but I didn&#39;t actually see this film until the mid-eighties video boom. Recently revisited it thanks to the Encore channel last month. Sean Connery sets the standard for the cool playboy secret agent, handles himself well in fights, makes snappy double entendres and Ursula Andress in her bikini and knife-belt combo is probably the most iconic of &#39;Bond girls&#39;. Action-wise, the film is a little slow, but it has the proto-typical &#39;evil genius&#39; and &#39;hidden island lair&#39;. From Russia With Love (1963) - Haven&#39;t seen this one since the seventies, so its not fair to review this one. I seem to remember Robert Shaw was an impressive baddie, and the weird little woman with the pointy shoes was probably the model for the female evil sidekick character in the &#39;Austin Powers&#39; movies.Goldfinger (1964) - Good villain, wierd henchman (with a lethal bowler hat no less), and Bond girl with the best name ("Pussy Galore") - Great car, good memorable lines "I expect you to die, Mr. Bond!" and the best of the theme songs.Thunderball (1965) - Remade as &#39;Never Say Never Again&#39; in the eighties. Never a good idea to include scuba chase scenes, they really slow down the action. Good Tom Jones theme song. Haven&#39;t seen this one since the eighties, so I&#39;ll pass on more comments.You Only Live Twice (1967) - The goofiest of the Sean Connery films. Check out Bond in Japanese makeup made to pass as a native. Very cliche villain and volcano hideaway which was probably the model for Dr. Evil in the &#39;Austin Powers&#39; films. Bond flies around in a mini helicopter with 4 distinct weapons onboard, and is chased by and dispatches - you guessed it - 4 helicopters. You can usually tell how weak the franchise is getting by how many techno gadgets get introduced.Casino Royale (1967) - A testament to how stale the franchise was becoming, it was ripe for lampoon. Not worth a look, this is a total mess. But maybe worth a peek at the final reel just to catch Woody Allen&#39;s bit as the evil &#39;James Bond Jr.&#39;On Her Majesty&#39;s Secret Service (1969) - Saw this for the first time last month. Not as bad as I was expecting. Telly Savalas makes a rather lame villain which is probably the biggest flaw. Diana Rigg is appealling and a nice tough mate for James. George Lazenby is a little on the dry side, but handles himself well, has a lot of good one liners. Ski chase scenes aplenty (and we&#39;ll be getting many more of them in the future, unfortunately).Diamonds Are Forever (1971) - Connery comes back, looking a little pudgy, but still holding his own. This one has my favorite Bond double entendre when he comments on Jill St. John&#39;s wig change : "as long as the cuffs and collars match" - colorful villainous henchmen, just bordering on spoofery, the usual evil genius villain with an exotic hideaway that needs to be stormed. Not bad, but needs fresh ideas badly.Live and Let Die (1973) - Enter Roger Moore. Great theme song. Colorful villains and voodoo setting. A nice boat chase. Overall though, this Bond seems to play everything a little too much for laughs. A constant smirk on his face and the fact that he never looked believable in the fight scenes always left me a little cold on Roger Moore.The Man With the Golden Gun (1974) - More silliness. Killer midgets, another boat chase with the same southern sherrif along for the ride. We are in serious &#39;sequel-itis&#39; territory now. Just treading water.The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) - Tried watching this one last month, couldn&#39;t get interested. &#39;Jaws&#39; makes his first appearance. It just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. Moonraker (1979) - More &#39;Jaws&#39;. Slow motion outer space climax (pardon the pun). Tied for a three way "worst bond film ever" award.For Your Eyes Only (1981) - Almost palatable Roger Moore bond. (more skiing though - probably easier to hide the stunt man beneath all the protective gear). Topol makes a good ally/sidekick. Revenge seeking crossbow weilding bond girl is a nice touch.Octopussy (1983) - More silliness. Maud Adams again for some reason (wasn&#39;t she killed off in &#39;Golden Gun&#39;?) Girly Circus Troupe. Ok. (three way "worst bond film ever" winner)Never Say Never Again (1983) - To underscore how badly the franchise needs a facelift, but not quite the facelift it needed, Sean Connery goes back at it again in this &#39;unofficial&#39; remake of &#39;Thunderball&#39;. Beats the current &#39;official&#39; Bond movies hands down, but still needs a younger actor in the role. Good villain turn by Klaus Maria Brandauer. A View To a Kill (1985) - Badly in need of a makeover now. Roger Moore is looking quite old and frail by this time and the pairings with the young girls is starting to earn catcalls. Grace Jones and Christopher Walken and Duran Duran title song. (three way "worst bond film ever" winner)The Living Daylights (1987) - Timothy Dalton takes over. While he has a good British theatrical delivery and seems to have a lot of severe intensity, he strikes me as being a bit of a 98 lb weakling in the brawn department. &#39;AIDS awareness Bond&#39; spends much more time out of bed in the next few movies and more time with small potatoes bad guys and outlandish action sequences. An improvement on Roger Moore at any rate.Licence to Kill (1989) - Revisited last month. Good final chase scene (if not a little improbable - semi trucks doing wheelies?) - Grim determined Timothy Dalton goes on a revenge spree and brings Q along for the ride. Good creepy villain. Funny cameo by Wayne Newton as a new age guru.Goldeneye (1995) - Pierce Brosnan takes over. Refreshing to see the sex jokes back in the mix. Good over the top action sequences (love the tank chase scene). Bond is back in a good way. But oddly enough its not enough to sustain my interest and I end up missing the next three at the theater. Nice touch bringing in Judi Dench as M. Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) - haven&#39;t seen it yetThe World Is Not Enough (1999) - Saw this one last weekend. Good villain, good &#39;bad bond girl&#39; - extremely silly &#39;good bond girl&#39; (who buys Denise Richards as a nuclear scientist?) - Good enough Bond flick, but we seem to be getting back to a bit of Roger Moore-ishness in the spoof/seriousness ratio.Die Another Day (2002) - haven&#39;t seen it yetCasino Royale (2006) - Wow. Bond taken a bit more seriously ala &#39;Batman Begins&#39;. Daniel Craig actually looks like he can &#39;take a licking and keep on ticking&#39;. And I love the &#39;Bond with an attitude&#39; persona he puts forward, reminds me of Connery in his youth. Favorite line: Bond: "give me a vodka martini" Bartender: "shaken or stirred?" Bond: "do I look like I give a damn?" - And doesn&#39;t everyone need a car with a built-in defibulator?Looking forward to where this goes next... addendum: A few other &#39;Spy Films&#39; that might help take away the bad taste of &#39;too much Bond&#39; - "The Spy Who Came In From the Cold" with Richard Burton, "Three Days of the Condor" with Robert Redford, and recently "The Constant Gardener" with Ralph Fiennes -- they treat the &#39;glamorous world of spy-dom&#39; with a generous dose of skepticism and a refreshingly bleak world view. http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/love/MemberTagFilms.aspxlove
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