list http://www.spout.com/ Recent community activity around Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest on Spout Copyright 2005-9 Spout, LLC Spout RSS http://www.spout.com/images/SpoutLogoRSS.jpg http://www.spout.com/ 136 30 http://www.spout.com/films/Pirates_of_the_Caribbean_Dead_Man_s_Chest/257262/default.aspx Title: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Year: 2006
Director: Gore Verbinski
Plot: Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) returns to the screen for another round of supernatural adventures on the high seas in this spirited sequel to the 2003 Disney hit, which re-teams original director Gore Verbinski with original screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio. As Will (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth (Keira Knightley) prepare to exchange vows at the altar, their wedding plans hit rough waters with the arrival of sea-bound scallywag Jack Sparrow. It seems that Sparrow owes a substantial blood debt to half-octopus sea captain Davy Jones (Bill Nighy), and that the only way for the flamboyant sea rover to elude the wrath of his otherworldly pursuer is to seek the aid of mysterious and powerful voodoo priestess Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), whose ability to resurrect the dead and gaze into the future may provide just the advantage needed to avoid a waterlogged fate in the locker of his legendary nemesis. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide
Times Tagged: 68
Number of Lists: 91
Number of blog posts: 15
Number of discussion threads: 3
SpoutRating: 3
]]>Mon, 20 Jul 2009 06:57:50 GMTPirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest2006Gore VerbinskiCaptain Jack Sparrow (<a href="/players/P____18682/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Johnny Depp</a>) returns to the screen for another round of supernatural adventures on the high seas in this spirited sequel to the 2003 Disney hit, which re-teams original director <a href="/players/P___234707/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Gore Verbinski</a> with original screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio. As Will (<a href="/players/P___301907/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Orlando Bloom</a>) and Elizabeth (<a href="/players/P___339282/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Keira Knightley</a>) prepare to exchange vows at the altar, their wedding plans hit rough waters with the arrival of sea-bound scallywag Jack Sparrow. It seems that Sparrow owes a substantial blood debt to half-octopus sea captain Davy Jones (<a href="/players/P____52695/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Bill Nighy</a>), and that the only way for the flamboyant sea rover to elude the wrath of his otherworldly pursuer is to seek the aid of mysterious and powerful voodoo priestess Tia Dalma (<a href="/players/P___334461/default.aspx" style='text-decoration:underline'>Naomie Harris</a>), whose ability to resurrect the dead and gaze into the future may provide just the advantage needed to avoid a waterlogged fate in the locker of his legendary nemesis. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide68Tag Target (>10)911533http://www.spout.com/ProductImages/u34998gux2w.jpghttp://www.spout.com/films/Pirates_of_the_Caribbean_Dead_Man_s_Chest/257262/default.aspxFilm http://www.spout.com/blogs/the_mow/archive/2009/7/16/43083.aspx Post By: The_MOW
Post To: The_MOW Blog
Post Date: 7/16/2009 6:44:55 PM
Body: Infamous pirate "Captain Jack Sparrow" (Johnny Depp) is back. And this time, he has to pay a blood debt to "Davey Jones" (Bill Nighy), the captain of the legendary "Flying Dutchman." But, if "Sparrow" doesn't come up with a way to get out of the debt, he will be in service of "Jones" for eternity. And to complicate things, "Will Turner" (Orlando Bloom) and his love and soon-to-be bride, "Elizabeth Swann" (Keira Knightly) are back as part of "Sporrow's" misadventures. "Sparrow's" only way out is to find the "Dead Man's Chest", which will give him control over "Jones." However, he's not the only one in search for the fabled chest. For the most part, this is a special effects and make-up movie with adventure thrown in. "Davey Jones" and his crew, none of which are Monkees (sorry for the joke), are just incredible to look at. It was hard to tell what was make-up, and which was CGI in this film. There is also some pretty good action scenes. A lot of it is sword play, which appear to be choreographed nicely. There is also some action on the high seas, but they are not very memorable if you ask me. There are also some good stunt work in this movie, with at least two stunts that you will remember for awhile. The one performance which stands out is easily Depp, with honorable mentions to Bloom and Knightly. Depp is over-the-top and is easily the most memorable cast member. Knightly works well with Depp and can keep up with his energetic performance. One thing I thought was missing was character development, especially on the characters introduced in the movie. There was also some weak developments in the main characters. None of the characters seemed to have anything that advanced their personal storylines. Also, many characters were under used. Another thing I liked was the costumes in this movie. The pirate costumes look like they haven't been washed in about eight months, as some of the pirates also appear. Whoever was in charge of wardrobe did a great job with the entire cast's costumes. The sets are not really memorable in this movie. The majority of the sets were either the "Black Pearl" deck, beaches or jungle scenery. Although there is a lot of stunts and action in these particular settings, that's all you will remember. The music is pretty good in this movie. Some of the music is used nicely to enhance the action, but with all the metal clanking together in the swords, the explosions from cannons and the war cries from the pirates, you pretty much can't hear the music. This is still a pretty good movie, despite the flaws. However, the way the ending is done, it is very obvious that another sequel is coming.
]]>Thu, 16 Jul 2009 22:44:55 GMTThe_MOWThe_MOW Blog7/16/2009 6:44:55 PMInfamous pirate "Captain Jack Sparrow" (Johnny Depp) is back. And this time, he has to pay a blood debt to "Davey Jones" (Bill Nighy), the captain of the legendary "Flying Dutchman." But, if "Sparrow" doesn't come up with a way to get out of the debt, he will be in service of "Jones" for eternity. And to complicate things, "Will Turner" (Orlando Bloom) and his love and soon-to-be bride, "Elizabeth Swann" (Keira Knightly) are back as part of "Sporrow's" misadventures. "Sparrow's" only way out is to find the "Dead Man's Chest", which will give him control over "Jones." However, he's not the only one in search for the fabled chest. For the most part, this is a special effects and make-up movie with adventure thrown in. "Davey Jones" and his crew, none of which are Monkees (sorry for the joke), are just incredible to look at. It was hard to tell what was make-up, and which was CGI in this film. There is also some pretty good action scenes. A lot of it is sword play, which appear to be choreographed nicely. There is also some action on the high seas, but they are not very memorable if you ask me. There are also some good stunt work in this movie, with at least two stunts that you will remember for awhile. The one performance which stands out is easily Depp, with honorable mentions to Bloom and Knightly. Depp is over-the-top and is easily the most memorable cast member. Knightly works well with Depp and can keep up with his energetic performance. One thing I thought was missing was character development, especially on the characters introduced in the movie. There was also some weak developments in the main characters. None of the characters seemed to have anything that advanced their personal storylines. Also, many characters were under used. Another thing I liked was the costumes in this movie. The pirate costumes look like they haven't been washed in about eight months, as some of the pirates also appear. Whoever was in charge of wardrobe did a great job with the entire cast's costumes. The sets are not really memorable in this movie. The majority of the sets were either the "Black Pearl" deck, beaches or jungle scenery. Although there is a lot of stunts and action in these particular settings, that's all you will remember. The music is pretty good in this movie. Some of the music is used nicely to enhance the action, but with all the metal clanking together in the swords, the explosions from cannons and the war cries from the pirates, you pretty much can't hear the music. This is still a pretty good movie, despite the flaws. However, the way the ending is done, it is very obvious that another sequel is coming. http://www.spout.com/groups/Coming_Soon/Re_Holiday_movies_Cartoon_mice_Jim_Carrey_s_face/216/38540/1/ShowPost.aspx Post By: spout
Post To: Coming Soon
Post Date: 12/18/2008 11:59:17 AM
Body: DVD Highlights: Week of 12/19 1. Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy on Blu-Ray (6 disc set) -- I found a list of the special features in this user review. I would be most interested in hearing Johnny Depp's commentary on Curse of the Black Pearl. Curse of the Black Pearl -- Watch the trailer. This was my favorite of the series. Jack Sparrow is so fun that I like to imagine his other adventures. Dead Man's Chest -- My least favorite of the series, but maybe it deserves another try. At World's End -- Watch the trailer. I can't remember much about this one, but I liked it more than Dead Man's Chest. 2. House Bunny -- Is this subversive, making fun of the whole Playhouse Mansion scene? I don't know. I do know that I'm a sucker for movies where an adult and young people learn from each other. I know Scent of a Woman isn't perfect, but I still like it. Role Models was okay too. On the other hand, will anyone ever watch the Mighty Ducks series again? Remember Burt Reynolds in Cop and a Half? 3. Mamma Mia! -- Watch the trailer. A musical with Meryl Streep, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, and Stellan Skarsgard. I like those people, but the music is twenty-two ABBA hits, so I don't know what to say. 4. Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor -- Watch the trailer. I didn't see this one, was is better than The Mummy Returns? FYI, it looks like the manufacturer discontinued the Batman Begins/Dark Knight blu-ray double pack. But who knows, you might still be able to find one at a bookstore or something. If not, there's no harm in grabbing the single copies: Batman Begins -- Watch the trailer. My favorite Batman movie until The Dark Knight came along. The Dark Knight -- Watch the trailer. So good, it's hard to imagine Batman 3 being better. Although if any director can do it, it's Christopher Nolan.
]]>Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:59:17 GMTspoutComing Soon12/18/2008 11:59:17 AMDVD Highlights: Week of 12/19 1. Pirates of the Caribbean Trilogy on Blu-Ray (6 disc set) -- I found a list of the special features in this user review. I would be most interested in hearing Johnny Depp's commentary on Curse of the Black Pearl. Curse of the Black Pearl -- Watch the trailer. This was my favorite of the series. Jack Sparrow is so fun that I like to imagine his other adventures. Dead Man's Chest -- My least favorite of the series, but maybe it deserves another try. At World's End -- Watch the trailer. I can't remember much about this one, but I liked it more than Dead Man's Chest. 2. House Bunny -- Is this subversive, making fun of the whole Playhouse Mansion scene? I don't know. I do know that I'm a sucker for movies where an adult and young people learn from each other. I know Scent of a Woman isn't perfect, but I still like it. Role Models was okay too. On the other hand, will anyone ever watch the Mighty Ducks series again? Remember Burt Reynolds in Cop and a Half? 3. Mamma Mia! -- Watch the trailer. A musical with Meryl Streep, Colin Firth, Pierce Brosnan, and Stellan Skarsgard. I like those people, but the music is twenty-two ABBA hits, so I don't know what to say. 4. Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor -- Watch the trailer. I didn't see this one, was is better than The Mummy Returns? FYI, it looks like the manufacturer discontinued the Batman Begins/Dark Knight blu-ray double pack. But who knows, you might still be able to find one at a bookstore or something. If not, there's no harm in grabbing the single copies: Batman Begins -- Watch the trailer. My favorite Batman movie until The Dark Knight came along. The Dark Knight -- Watch the trailer. So good, it's hard to imagine Batman 3 being better. Although if any director can do it, it's Christopher Nolan. http://www.spout.com/blogs/spoutblog/archive/2008/9/24/35507.aspx Post By: SpoutBlog
Post To: SpoutBlog on spout.com
Post Date: 9/24/2008 5:00:59 PM
Body: Yesterday I wrote of the news that Wanted director Timur Bekmambetov is helming an effects-heavy adaptation of Herman Melville’s Moby Dick. It’s not entirely shocking, but it does still seem like a cruel joke. More specifically, it sounds like something Jasper Fforde would jest about in his Thursday Next novels. Of course, the news came just as I’m in the middle of Fforde’s latest, First Among Sequels, in which Pride and Prejudice is turned into a reality TV show. Although I’m not exactly well read as far as literary classics go, I’ve been wondering what other revered books (particularly those in the public domain) could be reworked as potential summer blockbusters. Obviously, there are certain sci-fi, fantasy and adventure novels that work, yet the fitting fictions of Verne, Wells, Burroughs, Dumas and others are already fodder for cheap movies with lots of action and/or special effects. Therefore, I’ve tried to limit my choices to those books that aren’t such easy candidates for a Memorial Day weekend opening. 1. The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri Dante’s epic poem has inspired a few films over the years, including the hugely successful 1911 silent L’Inferno, but it’s about time for Hollywood to bastardize the otherworldly tale with lots of computer-generated visuals. Maybe you’re thinking that What Dreams Come already made some attempt at this, and it failed at the box office. Sure, but it was still an awesome spectacle of a film. Now, think of something similar starring Will Smith as Dante. And some rewrites to allow for more fight scenes (yes, even in Heaven). The poem will be divided into a trilogy of films, of course. 2. Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift Georges Méliès, the original visual-effects cinema showman, made the first adaptation of Swift’s satire, and a later version featured special effects from stop-motion master Ray Harryhausen. The last adaptation also had decent effects, at least for a TV miniseries, but it’s high time for a new big screen attempt, which shall employ all the latest effects innovations. And Will Ferrell. It should also have a more contemporary setting and lose all the allegory and commentary stuff. Nobody needs to be thinking about antiquated messages at the multiplex; they just want to watch giant people destroying little cities, pirate attacks and other straightforward spectacles. 3. Candide by Voltaire Similarly, Voltaire’s satire could be made into a more straightforward adventure through life’s calamities. And yet just by adhering to the basic plot, the main idea could still be communicated without making the audience think they’ve actually been made to think about it. It should probably be modernized, and it should probably star Shia LaBeouf. 4. Scaramouche by Rafael Sabatini I guess a modernization of this classic would seem like just any other movie about a man forced into hiding as an actor, and a more faithful adaptation would probably not feature a better swordfight than the one in MGM’s 1952 version. So, it should be reset in the future, should star James Franco, who is due for more action and more comedy, and be some kind of cross between Sister Act and Star Wars. 5. Oedipus Rex by Sophocles I’m picturing Nicolas Cage in yet another movie involving prophecies. Only in this one, he not only can’t avoid killing his father and mating with his mother, he also fails to save the world from an apocalypse. See, the movie is about how you can’t change your destiny, and it’s also about a lot of cool and disastrous destruction occurring at the film’s climax. 6. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka Matt Damon is reunited with director Terry Gilliam for an absurd action movie that’s as much The Bourne Identity as it is The Metamorphosis. Damon plays Gregor, a man who wakes up one day to find he’s a giant bug. That’s about as far as Kafka’s story is retained. From there, he must go on the run while being chased by an organization of pest control operatives in an attempt to find out why he’s transformed and how he can return to human form. 7. Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson I know, it’s been filmed a billion times, and it’s technically one of those books I wanted to exclude on account of its ease in becoming a blockbuster. But here’s the thing: it would be completely different this time, and I don’t mean because it will be set in space. That’s already been done. No, instead, thanks to the success of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, the story of Jim Hawkins (Cameron Bright) and Long John Silver (Gerard Butler) will include some paranormal additions, courtesy of Hollywood’s idea of poetic license. 8. The Last Days of Pompeii by Edward Bulwer-Lytton I don’t know if this is still considered a classic, but as long as the adaptation of Robert Harris’ Pompeii book (which was once to be directed by Roman Polanski) is struggling to get made, now is the chance for some big producer to get a blockbuster made out of this book. And worse comes to worse, there ends up being competing Pompeii movies, which would fit in with the tradition of disaster movies anyway. 9. The Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain In a way, this movie will just be a combo of Trading Places and Face/Off, but it will have that more respectable title and a less respectable script. And Nic Cage can again play twins. 10. Don Quixote by Cervantes Many of cinema’s greatest filmmakers have had the ambition to make a great adaptation of Cervantes’ masterpiece. And now it’s time for Michael Bay to admit he’d also like to give it a try. And with a big enough budget, he’ll succeed, though it won’t exactly be faithful to the book. Instead it will be about a man (Nic Cage again) who’s seen too many action movies and so, with great delusions, takes it upon himself to become an action hero. I can’t wait to watch all those windmills explode! Originally posted on:SpoutBlog
]]>Wed, 24 Sep 2008 21:00:59 GMTSpoutBlogSpoutBlog on spout.com9/24/2008 5:00:59 PMYesterday I wrote of the news that Wanted director Timur Bekmambetov is helming an effects-heavy adaptation of Herman Melville’s Moby Dick. It’s not entirely shocking, but it does still seem like a cruel joke. More specifically, it sounds like something Jasper Fforde would jest about in his Thursday Next novels. Of course, the news came just as I’m in the middle of Fforde’s latest, First Among Sequels, in which Pride and Prejudice is turned into a reality TV show. Although I’m not exactly well read as far as literary classics go, I’ve been wondering what other revered books (particularly those in the public domain) could be reworked as potential summer blockbusters. Obviously, there are certain sci-fi, fantasy and adventure novels that work, yet the fitting fictions of Verne, Wells, Burroughs, Dumas and others are already fodder for cheap movies with lots of action and/or special effects. Therefore, I’ve tried to limit my choices to those books that aren’t such easy candidates for a Memorial Day weekend opening. 1. The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri Dante’s epic poem has inspired a few films over the years, including the hugely successful 1911 silent L’Inferno, but it’s about time for Hollywood to bastardize the otherworldly tale with lots of computer-generated visuals. Maybe you’re thinking that What Dreams Come already made some attempt at this, and it failed at the box office. Sure, but it was still an awesome spectacle of a film. Now, think of something similar starring Will Smith as Dante. And some rewrites to allow for more fight scenes (yes, even in Heaven). The poem will be divided into a trilogy of films, of course. 2. Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift Georges Méliès, the original visual-effects cinema showman, made the first adaptation of Swift’s satire, and a later version featured special effects from stop-motion master Ray Harryhausen. The last adaptation also had decent effects, at least for a TV miniseries, but it’s high time for a new big screen attempt, which shall employ all the latest effects innovations. And Will Ferrell. It should also have a more contemporary setting and lose all the allegory and commentary stuff. Nobody needs to be thinking about antiquated messages at the multiplex; they just want to watch giant people destroying little cities, pirate attacks and other straightforward spectacles. 3. Candide by Voltaire Similarly, Voltaire’s satire could be made into a more straightforward adventure through life’s calamities. And yet just by adhering to the basic plot, the main idea could still be communicated without making the audience think they’ve actually been made to think about it. It should probably be modernized, and it should probably star Shia LaBeouf. 4. Scaramouche by Rafael Sabatini I guess a modernization of this classic would seem like just any other movie about a man forced into hiding as an actor, and a more faithful adaptation would probably not feature a better swordfight than the one in MGM’s 1952 version. So, it should be reset in the future, should star James Franco, who is due for more action and more comedy, and be some kind of cross between Sister Act and Star Wars. 5. Oedipus Rex by Sophocles I’m picturing Nicolas Cage in yet another movie involving prophecies. Only in this one, he not only can’t avoid killing his father and mating with his mother, he also fails to save the world from an apocalypse. See, the movie is about how you can’t change your destiny, and it’s also about a lot of cool and disastrous destruction occurring at the film’s climax. 6. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka Matt Damon is reunited with director Terry Gilliam for an absurd action movie that’s as much The Bourne Identity as it is The Metamorphosis. Damon plays Gregor, a man who wakes up one day to find he’s a giant bug. That’s about as far as Kafka’s story is retained. From there, he must go on the run while being chased by an organization of pest control operatives in an attempt to find out why he’s transformed and how he can return to human form. 7. Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson I know, it’s been filmed a billion times, and it’s technically one of those books I wanted to exclude on account of its ease in becoming a blockbuster. But here’s the thing: it would be completely different this time, and I don’t mean because it will be set in space. That’s already been done. No, instead, thanks to the success of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, the story of Jim Hawkins (Cameron Bright) and Long John Silver (Gerard Butler) will include some paranormal additions, courtesy of Hollywood’s idea of poetic license. 8. The Last Days of Pompeii by Edward Bulwer-Lytton I don’t know if this is still considered a classic, but as long as the adaptation of Robert Harris’ Pompeii book (which was once to be directed by Roman Polanski) is struggling to get made, now is the chance for some big producer to get a blockbuster made out of this book. And worse comes to worse, there ends up being competing Pompeii movies, which would fit in with the tradition of disaster movies anyway. 9. The Prince and the Pauper by Mark Twain In a way, this movie will just be a combo of Trading Places and Face/Off, but it will have that more respectable title and a less respectable script. And Nic Cage can again play twins. 10. Don Quixote by Cervantes Many of cinema’s greatest filmmakers have had the ambition to make a great adaptation of Cervantes’ masterpiece. And now it’s time for Michael Bay to admit he’d also like to give it a try. And with a big enough budget, he’ll succeed, though it won’t exactly be faithful to the book. Instead it will be about a man (Nic Cage again) who’s seen too many action movies and so, with great delusions, takes it upon himself to become an action hero. I can’t wait to watch all those windmills explode! Originally posted on:SpoutBlog http://www.spout.com/blogs/spoutblog/archive/2008/6/26/31749.aspx Post By: SpoutBlog
Post To: SpoutBlog on spout.com
Post Date: 6/26/2008 5:00:43 PM
Body: Over the weekend, Wanted had a 100% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.com. It’s since gone down to 81% (at the time of this writing — and with top critics it’s down to 67%), though that’s still pretty good for a movie that initially looked like just another Matrix knockoff. But will the good reviews make for great box office? Last night, while viewing the latest trailer in a theater with some friends, I mentioned that Wanted was receiving great reviews. Nobody believed me at first, and then they didn’t care; they still thought it looked terrible. Good reviews rarely help an action movie, and bad reviews rarely deter audiences from seeing them. However, if we look at the top 5 most critically acclaimed action movies, it’s clear that people do often prefer a good action film to a bad one. The next 5, on the other hand… The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (2003) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 94% (top critics: 98%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #9 ($377 million) Sample Critic Quote: “The film event of the millennium.” (Richard Corliss, Time) My Analysis: In terms of both reviews and gross, it is possible that, yes, this final LOTR film was the film event of the millennium only three years in. It even won the Oscar for Best Picture, as well as ten other Academy Awards. However, we do have a few hundred years left, and Corliss’ assessment is likely to be challenged one of these centuries. Casino Royale (2006) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 94% (top critics: 95%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #133 ($167.5 million) Sample Critic Quote: “This is the best James Bond film in at least 17 years, and Daniel Craig might be the best 007 … ever.” (Eric D. Snider, EricDSnider.com) My Analysis: Most critics and audiences agreed that this was one of the best 007 films ever and that Craig was at least the best Bond since Connery. Still, it only grossed a mere $7 million more than Die Another Day, which was certified rotten by RT. The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 93% (top critics: 97%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #62 ($227.5 million) Sample Critic Quote: “It is probably the best action films to date that doesn’t involved so much special effects.” (Wilson Morales, BlackFilm.com) My Analysis: I agree that it’s the best of the series and one of the best action movies in years, maybe even best to date not involving special effects, as Morales says. But really the only reason that Ultimatum is higher up on the b.o. charts than The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supremacy is because people took awhile to get into the series, with many of Ultimatum’s audience having seen the previous two for the first time on DVD. Still, along with both Return of the King and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, it’s one of the rare threequels that earned the highest gross of its series. Considering Return, that says one thing, while considering Indy, that says something else. Spider-Man 2 (2004) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 93% (top critics: 95%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #10 ($373.6 million) Sample Critic Quote: “[It's sure to] join the upper echelons of action movies like Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Empire Strikes Back, and Die Hard.” (Jeffrey Overstreet, Looking Closer) My Analysis: If this sequel were switched in ranking with its predecessor (see below), it might say something more about reviews equaling revenue, but otherwise between the two installments, there is evidence that good superhero movies will perform better than bad ones. Just don’t pay any attention to Spider-Man 3, which is also pretty close on the b.o. charts, but which is pretty far below in RT ranking (62%, whole; 44%, top critics). Iron Man (2008) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 93% (top critics: 92%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #26 ($305.9 million and counting) Sample Critic Quote: “It’s the best movie of its kind since the second Spider-Man movie four years ago.” (Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle) My Analysis: Fitting to LaSalle’s quote that Iron Man is just behind Spider-Man 2, and with only another $70 million to go in order to be just behind it on the b.o. chart. Unfortunately, as far as ticket sales show, it’s really only the best movie of its kind since the third Spider-Man movie one year ago. Spy Kids (2001) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 92% (top critics: 96%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #309 ($112.7 million) Sample Critic Quote: “To sum up, if you want your children to someday appreciate the true art of cinema, Spy Kids is a terrific movie to start with.” (Bob Strauss, Los Angeles Daily News) My Analysis: If by “true art of cinema” Strauss means the kind of action movies that receive good reviews, then he’s right. Film critics love the well-directed spy movies (see #2 and #3). As for kids, they don’t care about reviews, which explains why Alvin and the Chipmunks made almost double what Spy Kids grossed. Out of Sight (1998) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 92% (top critics: 90%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #1,395 ($37.6 million) Sample Critic Quote: “In a summer filled with mega-hyped disappointments, Out of Sight proves the undeniable value of story, characterization, and — most of all — intelligence.” (Mike McGranaghan, Aisle Seat) My Analysis: The mega-hyped disappointments of that summer include Godzilla, which made about $100 million more than this film. Of course, Out of Sight isn’t really an action-packed action movie, and it only starred George Clooney, who despite being a huge movie star has never really been that big a box office draw. Meanwhile, 1998’s biggest box office winner, the more-action-packed Saving Private Ryan (which RT apparently doesn’t consider to be an action movie), was also one of the five best-reviewed films of the year. Hot Fuzz (2007) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 90% (top critics: 92%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #2,029 ($23.6 million) Sample Critic Quote: “Hot Fuzz is everything an action-comedy should be. It achieves through parody what most films in the genre can’t accomplish straight.” (Nathan Rabin, The Onion A.V. Club) My Analysis: The best action buddy comedy in ten years, yet it’s gross is hardly comparable to the box office success of the Rush Hour movies, Bad Boys II, Lethal Weapon 4 and … Starsky & Hutch? Even Jimmy Fallon’s Taxi performed better domestically. Rescue Dawn (2006) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 90% (top critics: 88%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #3,970 ($5.5 million) Sample Critic Quote: “A potentially commercial audience-pleaser that retains all of the characteristic Herzog complexity and nuance, Rescue Dawn is an electrifying action adventure that clamps your nerves with jaws of steel.” (Rex Reed, New York Observer) My Analysis: Too bad more moviegoers don’t read Rex Reed, because that’s a mighty good sell. Unfortunately, Rescue Dawn suffered a double blow because of who directed it. Critics certainly overpraised it, just because it’s an Herzog film; audiences likely avoided it because of the same reason (not by name, but had it opened bigger right away, audiences wouldn’t have even noticed the art house connection and might have gone to see the new action movie starring “Batman”). Spider-Man (2002) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 90% (top critics: 85%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #7 ($403.7 million) Sample Critic Quote: “Let the gauntlet be thrown: Spider-Man may be the best comic adaptation of all time.” (Todd Gilchrest, FilmStew.com) My Analysis: In terms of box office receipts, it is indeed the best comic adaptation of all time. But as we see by two titles above, it’s since been beat in terms of critical acclaim, just in this decade alone (and from earlier, at least Superman: The Movie has a better RT score). Still, it would almost be evidence that critics and box office can sometimes go hand in hand if it weren’t for that certified rotten movie that ranks just above it on the box office chart: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. Originally posted on:SpoutBlog
]]>Thu, 26 Jun 2008 21:00:43 GMTSpoutBlogSpoutBlog on spout.com6/26/2008 5:00:43 PMOver the weekend, Wanted had a 100% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.com. It’s since gone down to 81% (at the time of this writing — and with top critics it’s down to 67%), though that’s still pretty good for a movie that initially looked like just another Matrix knockoff. But will the good reviews make for great box office? Last night, while viewing the latest trailer in a theater with some friends, I mentioned that Wanted was receiving great reviews. Nobody believed me at first, and then they didn’t care; they still thought it looked terrible. Good reviews rarely help an action movie, and bad reviews rarely deter audiences from seeing them. However, if we look at the top 5 most critically acclaimed action movies, it’s clear that people do often prefer a good action film to a bad one. The next 5, on the other hand… The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (2003) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 94% (top critics: 98%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #9 ($377 million) Sample Critic Quote: “The film event of the millennium.” (Richard Corliss, Time) My Analysis: In terms of both reviews and gross, it is possible that, yes, this final LOTR film was the film event of the millennium only three years in. It even won the Oscar for Best Picture, as well as ten other Academy Awards. However, we do have a few hundred years left, and Corliss’ assessment is likely to be challenged one of these centuries. Casino Royale (2006) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 94% (top critics: 95%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #133 ($167.5 million) Sample Critic Quote: “This is the best James Bond film in at least 17 years, and Daniel Craig might be the best 007 … ever.” (Eric D. Snider, EricDSnider.com) My Analysis: Most critics and audiences agreed that this was one of the best 007 films ever and that Craig was at least the best Bond since Connery. Still, it only grossed a mere $7 million more than Die Another Day, which was certified rotten by RT. The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 93% (top critics: 97%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #62 ($227.5 million) Sample Critic Quote: “It is probably the best action films to date that doesn’t involved so much special effects.” (Wilson Morales, BlackFilm.com) My Analysis: I agree that it’s the best of the series and one of the best action movies in years, maybe even best to date not involving special effects, as Morales says. But really the only reason that Ultimatum is higher up on the b.o. charts than The Bourne Identity and The Bourne Supremacy is because people took awhile to get into the series, with many of Ultimatum’s audience having seen the previous two for the first time on DVD. Still, along with both Return of the King and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, it’s one of the rare threequels that earned the highest gross of its series. Considering Return, that says one thing, while considering Indy, that says something else. Spider-Man 2 (2004) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 93% (top critics: 95%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #10 ($373.6 million) Sample Critic Quote: “[It's sure to] join the upper echelons of action movies like Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Empire Strikes Back, and Die Hard.” (Jeffrey Overstreet, Looking Closer) My Analysis: If this sequel were switched in ranking with its predecessor (see below), it might say something more about reviews equaling revenue, but otherwise between the two installments, there is evidence that good superhero movies will perform better than bad ones. Just don’t pay any attention to Spider-Man 3, which is also pretty close on the b.o. charts, but which is pretty far below in RT ranking (62%, whole; 44%, top critics). Iron Man (2008) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 93% (top critics: 92%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #26 ($305.9 million and counting) Sample Critic Quote: “It’s the best movie of its kind since the second Spider-Man movie four years ago.” (Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle) My Analysis: Fitting to LaSalle’s quote that Iron Man is just behind Spider-Man 2, and with only another $70 million to go in order to be just behind it on the b.o. chart. Unfortunately, as far as ticket sales show, it’s really only the best movie of its kind since the third Spider-Man movie one year ago. Spy Kids (2001) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 92% (top critics: 96%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #309 ($112.7 million) Sample Critic Quote: “To sum up, if you want your children to someday appreciate the true art of cinema, Spy Kids is a terrific movie to start with.” (Bob Strauss, Los Angeles Daily News) My Analysis: If by “true art of cinema” Strauss means the kind of action movies that receive good reviews, then he’s right. Film critics love the well-directed spy movies (see #2 and #3). As for kids, they don’t care about reviews, which explains why Alvin and the Chipmunks made almost double what Spy Kids grossed. Out of Sight (1998) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 92% (top critics: 90%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #1,395 ($37.6 million) Sample Critic Quote: “In a summer filled with mega-hyped disappointments, Out of Sight proves the undeniable value of story, characterization, and — most of all — intelligence.” (Mike McGranaghan, Aisle Seat) My Analysis: The mega-hyped disappointments of that summer include Godzilla, which made about $100 million more than this film. Of course, Out of Sight isn’t really an action-packed action movie, and it only starred George Clooney, who despite being a huge movie star has never really been that big a box office draw. Meanwhile, 1998’s biggest box office winner, the more-action-packed Saving Private Ryan (which RT apparently doesn’t consider to be an action movie), was also one of the five best-reviewed films of the year. Hot Fuzz (2007) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 90% (top critics: 92%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #2,029 ($23.6 million) Sample Critic Quote: “Hot Fuzz is everything an action-comedy should be. It achieves through parody what most films in the genre can’t accomplish straight.” (Nathan Rabin, The Onion A.V. Club) My Analysis: The best action buddy comedy in ten years, yet it’s gross is hardly comparable to the box office success of the Rush Hour movies, Bad Boys II, Lethal Weapon 4 and … Starsky & Hutch? Even Jimmy Fallon’s Taxi performed better domestically. Rescue Dawn (2006) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 90% (top critics: 88%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #3,970 ($5.5 million) Sample Critic Quote: “A potentially commercial audience-pleaser that retains all of the characteristic Herzog complexity and nuance, Rescue Dawn is an electrifying action adventure that clamps your nerves with jaws of steel.” (Rex Reed, New York Observer) My Analysis: Too bad more moviegoers don’t read Rex Reed, because that’s a mighty good sell. Unfortunately, Rescue Dawn suffered a double blow because of who directed it. Critics certainly overpraised it, just because it’s an Herzog film; audiences likely avoided it because of the same reason (not by name, but had it opened bigger right away, audiences wouldn’t have even noticed the art house connection and might have gone to see the new action movie starring “Batman”). Spider-Man (2002) Rotten Tomatoes’ “T-Meter” score: 90% (top critics: 85%) All Time Domestic Box Office Rank: #7 ($403.7 million) Sample Critic Quote: “Let the gauntlet be thrown: Spider-Man may be the best comic adaptation of all time.” (Todd Gilchrest, FilmStew.com) My Analysis: In terms of box office receipts, it is indeed the best comic adaptation of all time. But as we see by two titles above, it’s since been beat in terms of critical acclaim, just in this decade alone (and from earlier, at least Superman: The Movie has a better RT score). Still, it would almost be evidence that critics and box office can sometimes go hand in hand if it weren’t for that certified rotten movie that ranks just above it on the box office chart: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. Originally posted on:SpoutBlog http://www.spout.com/blogs/jj79/archive/2008/6/9/30973.aspx Post By: JJ79
Post To: JJ79 Blog
Post Date: 6/9/2008 1:21:53 PM
Body: "Fifteen men on a dead man´s chest, Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum." Filmmakers learned a long time ago to be careful with sequels. Just ask George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. After the enormous success of "Raiders of the Lost Ark," about a fellow getting into a series of adventures looking for a supernatural relic, they decided to do something completely different. "Temple of Doom" met with public and critical disapproval, so for their third installment they had Indy getting into a series of adventures looking for a supernatural relic. The powers that be at Disney must have told director Gore Verbinski and screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio to look for everything that people liked in 2003´s "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" and amplify it tenfold in the 2006 follow-up, "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man´s Chest." This means the filmmakers have brought back all of the main characters and extended the action more than ever. Of course, the character that made the first film work was Johnny Depp´s Captain Jack Sparrow, the goofy, mincing, half-looney pirate with the quick wit, lovable demeanor, and self-serving attitude. The trouble is that Sparrow was at best a caricature the first time around, his Keith Richards stage presence a hoot, to be sure, but without a lot of substance beneath the superficial mannerisms. Now, it´s more of the same, with a touch of gentle moral guidance toward the end and an explanation that his nutty gait is the result of too much rum. While the writers give him plenty of sly lines and Depp is a good enough actor to bring off all the proper looks and glances that alone hold much of the film together, a single sketchy characterization is not enough on which to build an entire story. Instead, we get a series of sword-fighting, knife-fighting, and just plain fighting scenes that seem more calculated to extend the movie´s running time than to develop its plot, characters, moods, atmosphere, or themes. This may be due in part to what the Wife-O-Meter thought was the writers´ attempt to pad out the story long enough to make two separate episodes. "Dead Man´s Chest" is only the first half of a two-part movie that Disney made at around the same time but will release in two sections a year removed. I´d be willing to bet that by putting the two parts together and cutting out half the filler, the moviemakers would have created a far better product. This one seems to go on forever, and it´s only the first half! Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley reprise their roles as William Turner and Elizabeth Swann, both of them performing admirably. Bloom may not yet have the on-screen charisma to carry a movie by himself, but in these supporting roles he is exceptionally good. Knightley, meanwhile, as talented as she is beautiful, is fast becoming one of filmdom´s most impressive heroines. Now, if only they had more to do than run aimlessly through the movie´s fancy sets. The lackluster plot takes up where "Black Pearl" left off, but although the first film left us to suppose that all was well with these folks, it isn´t to be. A new magistrate, the evil Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander), comes to Port Royale and arrests both William and Elizabeth for aiding and abetting Captain Sparrow´s escape, and nothing Elizabeth´s father, Governor Swann (Jonathan Pryce), can say or do can save them. Except one thing: If William agrees to find Sparrow and bring back his compass, Beckett will free them all. Huh? A compass? So off goes William chasing Sparrow; off goes Elizabeth chasing William; and off goes Sparrow chasing dry land because the demonic Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) is chasing him. And all of them eventually go off chasing a key that unlocks a dead man´s chest that only the compass can find. Yes, there is a lot of chasing around in this film, all of it accompanied by a Hans Zimmer musical track that is often so loud it´s hard to understand the dialogue. In fact, there is so much chasing around in this film and so much loud music, it becomes quickly tiresome. And it seems like as the film goes on, it gets even more frenetic and loud, as though the scriptwriters had run out of story ideas and decided simply to provide a series of action scenes for the sake of the action itself. Surely, there are no reasons for some of the sequences, like one on a cannibal island and another at the pirate stronghold of Tortuga, other than as pure eye candy and adrenaline rushes. Which is fine, as far it goes, but they do little to advance the story. And speaking of eye candy, no doubt Disney thought that as much CGI, costuming, and special effects as possible would mask the fact that there is so very little plot line involved. I have to admit, "Dead Man´s Chest" is fun to look at, with Nighy´s makeup particularly effective as a half-human, half-octopus. And the Disney folks were perceptive enough to include as many homages as possible to past seafaring classics, with visual references to Doug Fairbanks´s "Black Pirate," Burt Lancaster´s "Crimson Pirate," and their own "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The kraken, a legendary Scandinavian sea monster probably based on sightings of giant squids, makes a formidable appearance several times. Yet none of this fancy CGI work can make up for a lack of strong personal relationships among the people involved, and here is where the movie lets us down. The script merely hands us a boatload of beloved characters, and we´re expected to follow them anywhere, no matter if they´re doing nothing at all. Oh, well, maybe for most filmgoers the characters and their clever lines are enough. It´s also good to see Jack Davenport back as the treacherous Commodore Norrington, now in considerably reduced circumstances; Stellan Skarsgard as Bootstrap Bill, William´s deceased father; Kevin McNally as First Mate Gibbs; Geoffrey Rush in a cameo as Barbossa; plus Naomie Harris, Lee Arenberg, and Mackenzie Crook as various friendly miscreants. Still, "Dead Man´s Chest" relies too heavily on our affection for the first movie and its characters to develop anything really new or exciting on its own. The location shooting is fine; the acting is fine; the movie´s visual appearance is fine; and most of all, Johnny Depp´s performance is fine. It´s the script that needs work. Now that filmmakers can recreate practically anything they want on screen, they might try to find a story solid enough to justify all the effort. Just because you can do it doesn´t mean you have to. And long and noisy is not enough. 6/10
]]>Mon, 09 Jun 2008 17:21:53 GMTJJ79JJ79 Blog6/9/2008 1:21:53 PM"Fifteen men on a dead man&acute;s chest, Yo ho ho, and a bottle of rum." Filmmakers learned a long time ago to be careful with sequels. Just ask George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. After the enormous success of "Raiders of the Lost Ark," about a fellow getting into a series of adventures looking for a supernatural relic, they decided to do something completely different. "Temple of Doom" met with public and critical disapproval, so for their third installment they had Indy getting into a series of adventures looking for a supernatural relic. The powers that be at Disney must have told director Gore Verbinski and screenwriters Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio to look for everything that people liked in 2003&acute;s "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl" and amplify it tenfold in the 2006 follow-up, "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man&acute;s Chest." This means the filmmakers have brought back all of the main characters and extended the action more than ever. Of course, the character that made the first film work was Johnny Depp&acute;s Captain Jack Sparrow, the goofy, mincing, half-looney pirate with the quick wit, lovable demeanor, and self-serving attitude. The trouble is that Sparrow was at best a caricature the first time around, his Keith Richards stage presence a hoot, to be sure, but without a lot of substance beneath the superficial mannerisms. Now, it&acute;s more of the same, with a touch of gentle moral guidance toward the end and an explanation that his nutty gait is the result of too much rum. While the writers give him plenty of sly lines and Depp is a good enough actor to bring off all the proper looks and glances that alone hold much of the film together, a single sketchy characterization is not enough on which to build an entire story. Instead, we get a series of sword-fighting, knife-fighting, and just plain fighting scenes that seem more calculated to extend the movie&acute;s running time than to develop its plot, characters, moods, atmosphere, or themes. This may be due in part to what the Wife-O-Meter thought was the writers&acute; attempt to pad out the story long enough to make two separate episodes. "Dead Man&acute;s Chest" is only the first half of a two-part movie that Disney made at around the same time but will release in two sections a year removed. I&acute;d be willing to bet that by putting the two parts together and cutting out half the filler, the moviemakers would have created a far better product. This one seems to go on forever, and it&acute;s only the first half! Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley reprise their roles as William Turner and Elizabeth Swann, both of them performing admirably. Bloom may not yet have the on-screen charisma to carry a movie by himself, but in these supporting roles he is exceptionally good. Knightley, meanwhile, as talented as she is beautiful, is fast becoming one of filmdom&acute;s most impressive heroines. Now, if only they had more to do than run aimlessly through the movie&acute;s fancy sets. The lackluster plot takes up where "Black Pearl" left off, but although the first film left us to suppose that all was well with these folks, it isn&acute;t to be. A new magistrate, the evil Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander), comes to Port Royale and arrests both William and Elizabeth for aiding and abetting Captain Sparrow&acute;s escape, and nothing Elizabeth&acute;s father, Governor Swann (Jonathan Pryce), can say or do can save them. Except one thing: If William agrees to find Sparrow and bring back his compass, Beckett will free them all. Huh? A compass? So off goes William chasing Sparrow; off goes Elizabeth chasing William; and off goes Sparrow chasing dry land because the demonic Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) is chasing him. And all of them eventually go off chasing a key that unlocks a dead man&acute;s chest that only the compass can find. Yes, there is a lot of chasing around in this film, all of it accompanied by a Hans Zimmer musical track that is often so loud it&acute;s hard to understand the dialogue. In fact, there is so much chasing around in this film and so much loud music, it becomes quickly tiresome. And it seems like as the film goes on, it gets even more frenetic and loud, as though the scriptwriters had run out of story ideas and decided simply to provide a series of action scenes for the sake of the action itself. Surely, there are no reasons for some of the sequences, like one on a cannibal island and another at the pirate stronghold of Tortuga, other than as pure eye candy and adrenaline rushes. Which is fine, as far it goes, but they do little to advance the story. And speaking of eye candy, no doubt Disney thought that as much CGI, costuming, and special effects as possible would mask the fact that there is so very little plot line involved. I have to admit, "Dead Man&acute;s Chest" is fun to look at, with Nighy&acute;s makeup particularly effective as a half-human, half-octopus. And the Disney folks were perceptive enough to include as many homages as possible to past seafaring classics, with visual references to Doug Fairbanks&acute;s "Black Pirate," Burt Lancaster&acute;s "Crimson Pirate," and their own "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The kraken, a legendary Scandinavian sea monster probably based on sightings of giant squids, makes a formidable appearance several times. Yet none of this fancy CGI work can make up for a lack of strong personal relationships among the people involved, and here is where the movie lets us down. The script merely hands us a boatload of beloved characters, and we&acute;re expected to follow them anywhere, no matter if they&acute;re doing nothing at all. Oh, well, maybe for most filmgoers the characters and their clever lines are enough. It&acute;s also good to see Jack Davenport back as the treacherous Commodore Norrington, now in considerably reduced circumstances; Stellan Skarsgard as Bootstrap Bill, William&acute;s deceased father; Kevin McNally as First Mate Gibbs; Geoffrey Rush in a cameo as Barbossa; plus Naomie Harris, Lee Arenberg, and Mackenzie Crook as various friendly miscreants. Still, "Dead Man&acute;s Chest" relies too heavily on our affection for the first movie and its characters to develop anything really new or exciting on its own. The location shooting is fine; the acting is fine; the movie&acute;s visual appearance is fine; and most of all, Johnny Depp&acute;s performance is fine. It&acute;s the script that needs work. Now that filmmakers can recreate practically anything they want on screen, they might try to find a story solid enough to justify all the effort. Just because you can do it doesn&acute;t mean you have to. And long and noisy is not enough. 6/10 http://www.spout.com/blogs/usesoap/archive/2008/3/27/26656.aspx Post By: usesoap
Post To: usesoap Blog
Post Date: 3/27/2008 2:30:32 PM
Body: Cinematic parody as it once was is dead. And after much searching and researching, I have found the murderer of this under-appreciated sub-genre of filmmaking. It’s Waldo. Oh sure, the bespectacled, striped-ski-cap-sporting little geek likes to appear anonymous, but I am positive he is to blame for the current slate of “Movie” movies: “Epic Movie,” ”Date Movie” and, most recently, “Superhero Movie.” If he’s not guilty, ask yourself this, why is he always hiding? You see, it is my assertion that the latest generation of filmgoers was weaned on Waldo in their youths. At an early age, they were trained to snoop and search page after page for the skinny little dweeb, and they approach these films much the same way. “Hey, there’s Borat!” “Oh, that’s a reference to ‘Pirates of the Caribbean.’” They do not concern themselves with narrative, character development, plot, rationality, common sense or any other law, be it cinematic or logic. Just throw in a quick bodily function gag or a hip-hop reference and they are pacified.This sad state rests solely on the scrawny shoulders of that elusive little nerd who populates the books of their youth. “Oh, there’s Waldo in Paris!” “Hey, isn’t that Waldo in Tiananmen Square?” The page is simply turned and the search begins anew. The declineIt’s easy to vilify Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer (the comedically bankrupt parents of such lowest-common-denominator fare as “Date Movie,” “Epic Movie” and “Meet the Spartans”) , or one of the 8,000 writers of the original “Scary Movie” (7, 629 of which were Wayans siblings).. But they are merely feeding the audience what it apparently wants. How else can you explain the fact that an intelligent (if flawed) stab at actual parody, “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story,” which actually harkened back to the days of “Airplane!” and “Naked Gun,” blinked in and out of theaters while the bottom-feeding “Spartans” landed atop the box office, making in its opening weekend almost what “Cox” earned in its entire theatrical run? “Cox” took the route traveled by the founding fathers of parody (that would be both Mel Brooks and the creative team of Jerry Zucker, Jim Abraham and David Zucker – collectively known as ZAZ), which meant building an original character based on a cinematic archetype and structuring a cohesive plot that had purpose. Conversely, “Spartans” merely planted actors who not only resembled their previous on-screen doppelgangers, but sometimes merely kept their original names in case it was too difficult for the audience to get it. Then plopped them in nearly identical settings and allowed someone to break wind, vomit, belch or breakdance (or any combination thereof). Now, apparently, mere imitation is the new parody. Storylines are cobbled with the only motive of tying the countless references crammed inside (“Spartans” mocks not only films like “300,” “Rambo,” and “Transformers,” but also makes room for television shows such as “American Idol,” “Heroes” and “Ugly Betty,” video games, commercials and even the MTV Music Video Awards). It’s the cinematic equivalent to sitting on the couch with someone who cannot stop flipping channels with the remote. The legacyDone properly, the parody film can enrich a generation with its writing. “Surely you can’t be serious?” you say. And any movie-lover worth his or her salt should be able to adequately answer that question.Take a look at some of these iconic statements made in parody films throughout the ages:· “Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!” (Blazing Saddles, 1974)· “Wait, Master. It may be dangerous. You go first!” (Young Frankenstein. 1974)· “Go away or I shall taunt you a second time. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!” (Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975)· “ “ (Silent Movie, 1976)· “Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?” (Airplane! 1980)· “I know a little German… He's sitting over there.” (Top Secret!, 1984)· “Jane, since I've met you I've noticed things that I never knew were there before: birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights” (Naked Gun, 1988)· “My eyes are ceramic. Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians.” (Hot Shots, 1991) The future?Has the eulogy been written for the parody, an archaic artifact left best to the memory, or is there a phoenix-like future for the genre? “Superhero Movie” does not inspire much hope. While it does boast a production credit from “Airplane’s” David Zucker, it was written and directed by Craig Mazin, who, aside from penning the latest two “Scary Movie” installments, has a handful of other minor credits to his name. Really, it does not matter who is behind the lens or the script of such films, as realized by “Dewey Cox,” which was backed by current comic “it-boy” Judd Apatow. No, I think any future hope for the parody film to make a comeback will rest in the homes of those raised on the exploits of Lt. Frank Drebin, Ted Striker, Hedly Lamarr, Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (“that’s Franken-steen!”) and others who not only made us laugh, but made indelible marks in our cinematic psyche. For they now have children of their own who may one day demand a bit more sophistication with their humor and need to no longer help their children find that globe-trotting geek so innocently named Waldo and stop him in his tracks before he kills again.The future of comedy as you once knew may just depend on it.
]]>Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:30:32 GMTusesoapusesoap Blog3/27/2008 2:30:32 PMCinematic parody as it once was is dead. And after much searching and researching, I have found the murderer of this under-appreciated sub-genre of filmmaking. It&rsquo;s Waldo. Oh sure, the bespectacled, striped-ski-cap-sporting little geek likes to appear anonymous, but I am positive he is to blame for the current slate of &ldquo;Movie&rdquo; movies: &ldquo;Epic Movie,&rdquo; &rdquo;Date Movie&rdquo; and, most recently, &ldquo;Superhero Movie.&rdquo; If he&rsquo;s not guilty, ask yourself this, why is he always hiding? You see, it is my assertion that the latest generation of filmgoers was weaned on Waldo in their youths. At an early age, they were trained to snoop and search page after page for the skinny little dweeb, and they approach these films much the same way. &ldquo;Hey, there&rsquo;s Borat!&rdquo; &ldquo;Oh, that&rsquo;s a reference to &lsquo;Pirates of the Caribbean.&rsquo;&rdquo; They do not concern themselves with narrative, character development, plot, rationality, common sense or any other law, be it cinematic or logic. Just throw in a quick bodily function gag or a hip-hop reference and they are pacified.This sad state rests solely on the scrawny shoulders of that elusive little nerd who populates the books of their youth. &ldquo;Oh, there&rsquo;s Waldo in Paris!&rdquo; &ldquo;Hey, isn&rsquo;t that Waldo in Tiananmen Square?&rdquo; The page is simply turned and the search begins anew. The declineIt&rsquo;s easy to vilify Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer (the comedically bankrupt parents of such lowest-common-denominator fare as &ldquo;Date Movie,&rdquo; &ldquo;Epic Movie&rdquo; and &ldquo;Meet the Spartans&rdquo;) , or one of the 8,000 writers of the original &ldquo;Scary Movie&rdquo; (7, 629 of which were Wayans siblings).. But they are merely feeding the audience what it apparently wants. How else can you explain the fact that an intelligent (if flawed) stab at actual parody, &ldquo;Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story,&rdquo; which actually harkened back to the days of &ldquo;Airplane!&rdquo; and &ldquo;Naked Gun,&rdquo; blinked in and out of theaters while the bottom-feeding &ldquo;Spartans&rdquo; landed atop the box office, making in its opening weekend almost what &ldquo;Cox&rdquo; earned in its entire theatrical run? &ldquo;Cox&rdquo; took the route traveled by the founding fathers of parody (that would be both Mel Brooks and the creative team of Jerry Zucker, Jim Abraham and David Zucker &ndash; collectively known as ZAZ), which meant building an original character based on a cinematic archetype and structuring a cohesive plot that had purpose. Conversely, &ldquo;Spartans&rdquo; merely planted actors who not only resembled their previous on-screen doppelgangers, but sometimes merely kept their original names in case it was too difficult for the audience to get it. Then plopped them in nearly identical settings and allowed someone to break wind, vomit, belch or breakdance (or any combination thereof). Now, apparently, mere imitation is the new parody. Storylines are cobbled with the only motive of tying the countless references crammed inside (&ldquo;Spartans&rdquo; mocks not only films like &ldquo;300,&rdquo; &ldquo;Rambo,&rdquo; and &ldquo;Transformers,&rdquo; but also makes room for television shows such as &ldquo;American Idol,&rdquo; &ldquo;Heroes&rdquo; and &ldquo;Ugly Betty,&rdquo; video games, commercials and even the MTV Music Video Awards). It&rsquo;s the cinematic equivalent to sitting on the couch with someone who cannot stop flipping channels with the remote. The legacyDone properly, the parody film can enrich a generation with its writing. &ldquo;Surely you can&rsquo;t be serious?&rdquo; you say. And any movie-lover worth his or her salt should be able to adequately answer that question.Take a look at some of these iconic statements made in parody films throughout the ages:&middot; &ldquo;Badges? We don&#39;t need no stinking badges!&rdquo; (Blazing Saddles, 1974)&middot; &ldquo;Wait, Master. It may be dangerous. You go first!&rdquo; (Young Frankenstein. 1974)&middot; &ldquo;Go away or I shall taunt you a second time. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!&rdquo; (Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975)&middot; &ldquo; &ldquo; (Silent Movie, 1976)&middot; &ldquo;Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?&rdquo; (Airplane! 1980)&middot; &ldquo;I know a little German&hellip; He&#39;s sitting over there.&rdquo; (Top Secret!, 1984)&middot; &ldquo;Jane, since I&#39;ve met you I&#39;ve noticed things that I never knew were there before: birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights&rdquo; (Naked Gun, 1988)&middot; &ldquo;My eyes are ceramic. Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians.&rdquo; (Hot Shots, 1991) The future?Has the eulogy been written for the parody, an archaic artifact left best to the memory, or is there a phoenix-like future for the genre? &ldquo;Superhero Movie&rdquo; does not inspire much hope. While it does boast a production credit from &ldquo;Airplane&rsquo;s&rdquo; David Zucker, it was written and directed by Craig Mazin, who, aside from penning the latest two &ldquo;Scary Movie&rdquo; installments, has a handful of other minor credits to his name. Really, it does not matter who is behind the lens or the script of such films, as realized by &ldquo;Dewey Cox,&rdquo; which was backed by current comic &ldquo;it-boy&rdquo; Judd Apatow. No, I think any future hope for the parody film to make a comeback will rest in the homes of those raised on the exploits of Lt. Frank Drebin, Ted Striker, Hedly Lamarr, Dr. Frederick Frankenstein (&ldquo;that&rsquo;s Franken-steen!&rdquo;) and others who not only made us laugh, but made indelible marks in our cinematic psyche. For they now have children of their own who may one day demand a bit more sophistication with their humor and need to no longer help their children find that globe-trotting geek so innocently named Waldo and stop him in his tracks before he kills again.The future of comedy as you once knew may just depend on it. http://www.spout.com/blogs/jaysprout/archive/2007/9/9/19560.aspx Post By: jaysprout
Post To: Film & Video Are My Life
Post Date: 9/9/2007 8:18:44 AM
Body: As fun and interesting as some parts were, most of the time I kept thinking "Is this ever going to end?"
]]>Sun, 09 Sep 2007 12:18:44 GMTjaysproutFilm & Video Are My Life9/9/2007 8:18:44 AMAs fun and interesting as some parts were, most of the time I kept thinking &quot;Is this ever going to end?&quot; http://www.spout.com/blogs/spoutblog/archive/2007/7/30/16868.aspx Post By: SpoutBlog
Post To: SpoutBlog on spout.com
Post Date: 7/30/2007 2:01:00 PM
Body: A few weeks ago I was invited to participate in a collaborative effort, spearheaded by the folks at Cinema Fusion and Movie Patron, to produce a Top 100 films list on behalf of the online film community. I was sent a list of 500 nominees, and was asked to narrow it down to my personal Top 100, ranked in order. I didn’t end up getting that far. Poring over the nominees list, I just became completely overwhelmed. It was easy enough to narrow the 500 down to 100 (frankly, there were quite a few films on the Top 500 that felt like placeholders–Pirates of the Caribbean? Grease? Seriously?), but I didn’t want to just submit a list of My Top 100 Most Favorite Bestests with Barry Lyndon at the top and the remaining 99 in random order. I decided I needed to come up with an organizing philosophy that would allow me to rank the films on a non-arbitrary scale, based on artistic, entertainment, and socio-historical value. But while I was agonizing over theoretical point values, everyone else was ranking their movies, and yesterday the final Top 100 list debuted on Cinema Fusion. Considering that this venture was at least in part a reaction to AFI’s recently re-released Top 100 list, I think it’s useful to compare the two. Sean at Film Junk notes that he’s “a little disappointed that [the online] list wasn’t very radical or ‘progressive’.” This is a bit of an understatement; this new list is in fact so similar to the AFI list that if you compare just the two Top 20s side by side, seven films appear on both lists, with one film actually winning the same exact ranking from both groups. It begs the question: how did this self-styled “alternative list” come to so closely resemble the institutional verdict? Is this just an instance of consensus necessarily producing mediocrity, and if so, would there have been any way to get around that? Below the jump, you’ll find both Top 20s, and my analysis. (more…) Originally posted on:Spoutblog
]]>Mon, 30 Jul 2007 18:01:00 GMTSpoutBlogSpoutBlog on spout.com7/30/2007 2:01:00 PMA few weeks ago I was invited to participate in a collaborative effort, spearheaded by the folks at Cinema Fusion and Movie Patron, to produce a Top 100 films list on behalf of the online film community. I was sent a list of 500 nominees, and was asked to narrow it down to my personal Top 100, ranked in order. I didn’t end up getting that far. Poring over the nominees list, I just became completely overwhelmed. It was easy enough to narrow the 500 down to 100 (frankly, there were quite a few films on the Top 500 that felt like placeholders–Pirates of the Caribbean? Grease? Seriously?), but I didn’t want to just submit a list of My Top 100 Most Favorite Bestests with Barry Lyndon at the top and the remaining 99 in random order. I decided I needed to come up with an organizing philosophy that would allow me to rank the films on a non-arbitrary scale, based on artistic, entertainment, and socio-historical value. But while I was agonizing over theoretical point values, everyone else was ranking their movies, and yesterday the final Top 100 list debuted on Cinema Fusion. Considering that this venture was at least in part a reaction to AFI’s recently re-released Top 100 list, I think it’s useful to compare the two. Sean at Film Junk notes that he’s “a little disappointed that [the online] list wasn’t very radical or ‘progressive’.” This is a bit of an understatement; this new list is in fact so similar to the AFI list that if you compare just the two Top 20s side by side, seven films appear on both lists, with one film actually winning the same exact ranking from both groups. It begs the question: how did this self-styled “alternative list” come to so closely resemble the institutional verdict? Is this just an instance of consensus necessarily producing mediocrity, and if so, would there have been any way to get around that? Below the jump, you’ll find both Top 20s, and my analysis. (more…) Originally posted on:Spoutblog http://www.spout.com/groups/Top_5/Re_Top_5_Everybody_Seems_To_Love_But_I_Hate/190/16279/1/ShowPost.aspx Post By: lukasblu
Post To: Top 5
Post Date: 7/25/2007 9:32:02 PM
Body: 1&2 - the matrix sequels (The Matrix Reloaded (2003)&The Matrix Revolutions (2003)) - all action with not much depth and originality that is even close to the original;matrix reloaded bored me almost put me to sleep when i saw it originally in the theater.3 - Night at the Museum (2006) was not even the slighest been funny to me;very childish humor;what a diappointment especially for ben stiller4 - Babel (2006) - overrated5 - Brokeback Mountain (2005) - Very disappointing story and highly overrated; i do not believe it deserved an oscar 6 - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) - way long ; too much going on in the story,not to much focus in a major story line; bored me; disapponted because i liked Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
]]>Thu, 26 Jul 2007 01:32:02 GMTlukasbluTop 57/25/2007 9:32:02 PM1&amp;2 - the matrix sequels (The Matrix Reloaded (2003)&amp;The Matrix Revolutions (2003)) - all action with not much depth and originality that is even close to the original;matrix reloaded bored me almost put me to sleep when i saw it originally in the theater.3 - Night at the Museum (2006) was not even the slighest been funny to me;very childish humor;what a diappointment especially for ben stiller4 - Babel (2006) - overrated5 - Brokeback Mountain (2005) - Very disappointing story and highly overrated; i do not believe it deserved an oscar 6 - Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man&#39;s Chest (2006) - way long ; too much going on in the story,not to much focus in a major story line; bored me; disapponted because i liked Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) http://www.spout.com/blogs/moviebabe/archive/2007/7/18/15278.aspx Post By: MovieBabe
Post To: MovieBabe Blog
Post Date: 7/18/2007 8:05:00 PM
Body: By Tricia Olszewski There used to be a time when Johnny Depp didn’t do sequels. The Great Gonzo of thespians apparently didn’t want his résumé sullied with Part 2 popcorn flicks even in his get-in-the-door days. Sure, his first film was A Nightmare on Elm Street, but when he appeared in that franchise’s sixth installment—appropriately titled Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare—it was as a different character. And he was credited as Oprah Noodlemantra. That, however, was before Depp helped make Disney some silly money—some $305 million and counting—for 2003’s Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl with his off-the-wall take on Capt. Jack Sparrow. The fact that Depp also earned his first Oscar nomination for the role probably helped convince him that, well, maybe this mainstream stuff isn’t so bad—especially if he gets to keep doing the effeminate-swashbuckler schtick. He does, of course, in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, mugging, tottering, wearing eyeliner, limp-wristing it up in fabulous clothes, and generally acting like a slightly more seaworthy version of Keith Richards, Depp’s inspiration for the part. Returning director Gore Verbinski has his star bug out the Oh, shit! eyes perhaps a few too many times. Yet whenever Sparrow is out of the story—which, surprisingly, is rather frequently—you’ll probably miss him. The opening scenes portend this flaw in an otherwise fairly engaging two-and-a-half-hour movie. Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), genteel swordsman, and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), sorta-genteel governor’s daughter, are on their way to be wed when they’re arrested for piracy and aiding Sparrow in his first-film effort to recover his former ship, the ghost-crewed Black Pearl. Elizabeth protests, Will stands there in his peach-fuzz mustache, and just like the two actors, it’s all rather dull. Cut to a scene of soft, glossy waves and you’re almost lulled under—until Sparrow makes his bizarre entrance and this story based on a story based on a Disney theme-park ride finally gets interesting. Besides the young lovers’ betrothal, there’s little plotwise that connects the two scripts, both written by Shrek collaborators Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio. This time, Sparrow owes a blood debt to one Davy Jones (Bill Nighy), controller of the monstrous Kraken, ruler of the ocean, and captain of another supernatural ship, the Flying Dutchman. Each member of Jones’ cursed crew, for some reason, is an amalgam of undead pirate and rotting fish—Jones, for example, has an octopus perched where his head should be—which allows for some impressively gross if distractingly overdone CGI. (Curse of the Black Pearl’s damned were both spookier and more elegant souls who turned into skeletons in the moonlight.) Sparrow’s freedom, if lore is correct, lies in a buried chest whose key he has only a drawing of; meanwhile, he’s also hunted for his compass, which usually spins wildly but is said to eventually lead its operator to his greatest desire. Elizabeth and Will, for different reasons, end up not in prison but helping Sparrow in his quest/escape. The story is stretched out for maximum high jinks, to be sure: Stops along the way to the showdown at the Dutchman include a rather funny escapade on what might as well be Skull Island, which includes Sparrow describing Will, who’s been captured, as “eunuchey—snip-snip.” Wild parrots don’t squawk any “Polly want” nonsense but instead emit more practical requests such as “Don’t eat me!” Sparrow tries to sneak past someone by hiding behind a very thin-leafed plant. And in addition to the thrilling Kraken action, which involves slapping men overboard with its huge tentacles and swallowing ships, there are, duh, plenty of sword fights. One of Verbinski’s more impressive sequences involves a three-person battle on a giant mill wheel. Additional characters further pad the plot, including Will’s father, Bootstrap Bill (Stellan Skarsgård), a maggot-covered hermit-crab snacker who was thrown to the bottom of the ocean for betraying the Black Pearl’s mutineers, and a fortune teller (Naomie Harris), who offers Sparrow protection against Jones in the form of, as he incredulously points out, “a jar of dirt.” (And no, Richards doesn’t make an appearance as Sparrow’s dad, but he will cameo in the already-underway third installment.) Each of these minor players—not to mention Nighy’s tentacled captain—has more zip than Sparrow’s coupled helpers combined, though Knightley at least manages to make this Elizabeth tougher than her last one, the misguidedly giggly center of Pride & Prejudice. And how could she not? Like the first Pirates, this one is a successful combination of breezy and blackhearted, with all the torture, cannibalism, and eyeball-eating one should expect from this type of old-fashioned adventure yarn. It’s no place for silly little girls. Silly little pirate captains who act like girls, on the other hand, are welcome—even if their antics are getting most un-Noodlemantra-like in their familiarity. Unlike Jack Sparrow, Jerri Blank is not modeled on a real person—or so we have to hope. The main character of Strangers With Candy is a hideous-looking 47-year-old “boozer, user, and loser” with an overbite, bisexual nymphomania, and a big, fat, ’80s-clothed ass. This prequel to the divisive Comedy Central series of the same title—canceled after three seasons—promises nothing more than more Jerri. Conceived as an anti–After School Special series by co-writers/stars Stephen Colbert and director Paul Dinello, the show was gross. And bizarre. And offensive to pretty much everyone except straight white males. The 85-minute, months-shelved movie is no different. Jerri, who ran away in high school to a life that alternated between prison and the gutter, returns home to find out that her mother’s dead and her father (Dan Hedaya, replacing the series’ Roberto Gari) is in a coma. She also discovers that she has a stepbrother, Derrick (Joseph Cross), and a stepmother, Sara (Deborah Rush), who instantly finds the prodigal daughter repulsive. Jerri’s dad, however, has a slight reaction when she comes to his bedside, leading his doctor (Ian Holm) to suggest that there might be hope for him yet if she tries to make up for the hurt she caused her parents. Logically, Jerri goes back to high school with the intention of becoming a model student. No one seems to notice that the new girl looks like the hooker/addict version of an uncool mom, and she quickly falls in with the outcasts, Tammi (Maria Thayer) and Megawatti (Carlo Alban), an Indonesian the writers named after his country’s former president. The latter is a replacement for Jerri’s best friend on the show, a Filipino played by Orlando Pabotoy. The not-too-subtle idea is that otherness is funny—though Strangers With Candy, like Napoleon Dynamite, asks us to love its misfits even as we mock them. Other characters include Onyx Blackman (Greg Hollimon), the school’s ultrastern African-American principal; Chuck Noblet (Colbert), a married science (switched from history) teacher; and Geoffrey Jellineck (Dinello), a dopey, femmy art instructor. Noblet—at one point mistakenly remembered as “Crotch Niblet” by a former student—is, naturally, having a secret affair with Geoffrey. If you haven’t yet figured it out, pretty much the whole point of Strangers With Candy is to fling as many un-PC punch lines as possible. With Colbert, Dinello, and Sedaris being their typically hilarious selves, the movie does this quite well, so enjoying it is really a question of tolerance. Those who give up when, for example, Noblet insists a science-fair team be made up of “Koreans and Jews” to ensure a win will miss out on some more sophisticated effrontery later—say, Jerri’s response to a question about whether she’s thinking about signing up for the fair: “No, I was thinking about pussy. Science fairs are for queers.” Cameos by Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick, Allison Janney, and Philip Seymour Hoffman class up the film a bit, as if that mattered. Hoffman in particular seems to be having a blast, playing a school-board member jealous of his lover’s past. Even if you get your panties in a knot over jokes about “Alexander Graham Wang,” you’ve gotta laugh when the Oscar winner hisses, “You whore!”
]]>Thu, 19 Jul 2007 00:05:00 GMTMovieBabeMovieBabe Blog7/18/2007 8:05:00 PM By Tricia Olszewski There used to be a time when Johnny Depp didn&rsquo;t do sequels. The Great Gonzo of thespians apparently didn&rsquo;t want his r&eacute;sum&eacute; sullied with Part 2 popcorn flicks even in his get-in-the-door days. Sure, his first film was A Nightmare on Elm Street, but when he appeared in that franchise&rsquo;s sixth installment&mdash;appropriately titled Freddy&rsquo;s Dead: The Final Nightmare&mdash;it was as a different character. And he was credited as Oprah Noodlemantra. That, however, was before Depp helped make Disney some silly money&mdash;some $305 million and counting&mdash;for 2003&rsquo;s Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl with his off-the-wall take on Capt. Jack Sparrow. The fact that Depp also earned his first Oscar nomination for the role probably helped convince him that, well, maybe this mainstream stuff isn&rsquo;t so bad&mdash;especially if he gets to keep doing the effeminate-swashbuckler schtick. He does, of course, in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man&rsquo;s Chest, mugging, tottering, wearing eyeliner, limp-wristing it up in fabulous clothes, and generally acting like a slightly more seaworthy version of Keith Richards, Depp&rsquo;s inspiration for the part. Returning director Gore Verbinski has his star bug out the Oh, shit! eyes perhaps a few too many times. Yet whenever Sparrow is out of the story&mdash;which, surprisingly, is rather frequently&mdash;you&rsquo;ll probably miss him. The opening scenes portend this flaw in an otherwise fairly engaging two-and-a-half-hour movie. Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), genteel swordsman, and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley), sorta-genteel governor&rsquo;s daughter, are on their way to be wed when they&rsquo;re arrested for piracy and aiding Sparrow in his first-film effort to recover his former ship, the ghost-crewed Black Pearl. Elizabeth protests, Will stands there in his peach-fuzz mustache, and just like the two actors, it&rsquo;s all rather dull. Cut to a scene of soft, glossy waves and you&rsquo;re almost lulled under&mdash;until Sparrow makes his bizarre entrance and this story based on a story based on a Disney theme-park ride finally gets interesting. Besides the young lovers&rsquo; betrothal, there&rsquo;s little plotwise that connects the two scripts, both written by Shrek collaborators Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio. This time, Sparrow owes a blood debt to one Davy Jones (Bill Nighy), controller of the monstrous Kraken, ruler of the ocean, and captain of another supernatural ship, the Flying Dutchman. Each member of Jones&rsquo; cursed crew, for some reason, is an amalgam of undead pirate and rotting fish&mdash;Jones, for example, has an octopus perched where his head should be&mdash;which allows for some impressively gross if distractingly overdone CGI. (Curse of the Black Pearl&rsquo;s damned were both spookier and more elegant souls who turned into skeletons in the moonlight.) Sparrow&rsquo;s freedom, if lore is correct, lies in a buried chest whose key he has only a drawing of; meanwhile, he&rsquo;s also hunted for his compass, which usually spins wildly but is said to eventually lead its operator to his greatest desire. Elizabeth and Will, for different reasons, end up not in prison but helping Sparrow in his quest/escape. The story is stretched out for maximum high jinks, to be sure: Stops along the way to the showdown at the Dutchman include a rather funny escapade on what might as well be Skull Island, which includes Sparrow describing Will, who&rsquo;s been captured, as &ldquo;eunuchey&mdash;snip-snip.&rdquo; Wild parrots don&rsquo;t squawk any &ldquo;Polly want&rdquo; nonsense but instead emit more practical requests such as &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t eat me!&rdquo; Sparrow tries to sneak past someone by hiding behind a very thin-leafed plant. And in addition to the thrilling Kraken action, which involves slapping men overboard with its huge tentacles and swallowing ships, there are, duh, plenty of sword fights. One of Verbinski&rsquo;s more impressive sequences involves a three-person battle on a giant mill wheel. Additional characters further pad the plot, including Will&rsquo;s father, Bootstrap Bill (Stellan Skarsg&aring;rd), a maggot-covered hermit-crab snacker who was thrown to the bottom of the ocean for betraying the Black Pearl&rsquo;s mutineers, and a fortune teller (Naomie Harris), who offers Sparrow protection against Jones in the form of, as he incredulously points out, &ldquo;a jar of dirt.&rdquo; (And no, Richards doesn&rsquo;t make an appearance as Sparrow&rsquo;s dad, but he will cameo in the already-underway third installment.) Each of these minor players&mdash;not to mention Nighy&rsquo;s tentacled captain&mdash;has more zip than Sparrow&rsquo;s coupled helpers combined, though Knightley at least manages to make this Elizabeth tougher than her last one, the misguidedly giggly center of Pride &amp; Prejudice. And how could she not? Like the first Pirates, this one is a successful combination of breezy and blackhearted, with all the torture, cannibalism, and eyeball-eating one should expect from this type of old-fashioned adventure yarn. It&rsquo;s no place for silly little girls. Silly little pirate captains who act like girls, on the other hand, are welcome&mdash;even if their antics are getting most un-Noodlemantra-like in their familiarity. Unlike Jack Sparrow, Jerri Blank is not modeled on a real person&mdash;or so we have to hope. The main character of Strangers With Candy is a hideous-looking 47-year-old &ldquo;boozer, user, and loser&rdquo; with an overbite, bisexual nymphomania, and a big, fat, &rsquo;80s-clothed ass. This prequel to the divisive Comedy Central series of the same title&mdash;canceled after three seasons&mdash;promises nothing more than more Jerri. Conceived as an anti&ndash;After School Special series by co-writers/stars Stephen Colbert and director Paul Dinello, the show was gross. And bizarre. And offensive to pretty much everyone except straight white males. The 85-minute, months-shelved movie is no different. Jerri, who ran away in high school to a life that alternated between prison and the gutter, returns home to find out that her mother&rsquo;s dead and her father (Dan Hedaya, replacing the series&rsquo; Roberto Gari) is in a coma. She also discovers that she has a stepbrother, Derrick (Joseph Cross), and a stepmother, Sara (Deborah Rush), who instantly finds the prodigal daughter repulsive. Jerri&rsquo;s dad, however, has a slight reaction when she comes to his bedside, leading his doctor (Ian Holm) to suggest that there might be hope for him yet if she tries to make up for the hurt she caused her parents. Logically, Jerri goes back to high school with the intention of becoming a model student. No one seems to notice that the new girl looks like the hooker/addict version of an uncool mom, and she quickly falls in with the outcasts, Tammi (Maria Thayer) and Megawatti (Carlo Alban), an Indonesian the writers named after his country&rsquo;s former president. The latter is a replacement for Jerri&rsquo;s best friend on the show, a Filipino played by Orlando Pabotoy. The not-too-subtle idea is that otherness is funny&mdash;though Strangers With Candy, like Napoleon Dynamite, asks us to love its misfits even as we mock them. Other characters include Onyx Blackman (Greg Hollimon), the school&rsquo;s ultrastern African-American principal; Chuck Noblet (Colbert), a married science (switched from history) teacher; and Geoffrey Jellineck (Dinello), a dopey, femmy art instructor. Noblet&mdash;at one point mistakenly remembered as &ldquo;Crotch Niblet&rdquo; by a former student&mdash;is, naturally, having a secret affair with Geoffrey. If you haven&rsquo;t yet figured it out, pretty much the whole point of Strangers With Candy is to fling as many un-PC punch lines as possible. With Colbert, Dinello, and Sedaris being their typically hilarious selves, the movie does this quite well, so enjoying it is really a question of tolerance. Those who give up when, for example, Noblet insists a science-fair team be made up of &ldquo;Koreans and Jews&rdquo; to ensure a win will miss out on some more sophisticated effrontery later&mdash;say, Jerri&rsquo;s response to a question about whether she&rsquo;s thinking about signing up for the fair: &ldquo;No, I was thinking about pussy. Science fairs are for queers.&rdquo; Cameos by Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick, Allison Janney, and Philip Seymour Hoffman class up the film a bit, as if that mattered. Hoffman in particular seems to be having a blast, playing a school-board member jealous of his lover&rsquo;s past. Even if you get your panties in a knot over jokes about &ldquo;Alexander Graham Wang,&rdquo; you&rsquo;ve gotta laugh when the Oscar winner hisses, &ldquo;You whore!&rdquo; http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/comedy/MemberTagFilms.aspxcomedy
Number of films tagged: 1084

Number of people who tagged: 253

Number of times used: 1338

]]>Mon, 30 Nov 2009 02:12:13 GMT10842531338Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/Great/MemberTagFilms.aspxGreat
Number of films tagged: 231

Number of people who tagged: 201

Number of times used: 370

]]>Mon, 12 Oct 2009 04:07:46 GMT231201370Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/Loved-It/MemberTagFilms.aspxLoved-It
Number of films tagged: 509

Number of people who tagged: 179

Number of times used: 921

]]>Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:56:35 GMT509179921Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/amazing/MemberTagFilms.aspxamazing
Number of films tagged: 179

Number of people who tagged: 158

Number of times used: 253

]]>Tue, 01 Dec 2009 05:49:13 GMT179158253Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/death/MemberTagFilms.aspxdeath
Number of films tagged: 4306

Number of people who tagged: 140

Number of times used: 526

]]>Mon, 16 Nov 2009 17:27:13 GMT4306140526Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/movie/MemberTagFilms.aspxmovie
Number of films tagged: 363

Number of people who tagged: 114

Number of times used: 187

]]>Wed, 19 Aug 2009 16:09:46 GMT363114187Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/adventure/MemberTagFilms.aspxadventure
Number of films tagged: 227

Number of people who tagged: 95

Number of times used: 367

]]>Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:34:17 GMT22795367Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/film/MemberTagFilms.aspxfilm
Number of films tagged: 657

Number of people who tagged: 82

Number of times used: 190

]]>Tue, 22 Sep 2009 20:35:41 GMT65782190Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/betrayal/MemberTagFilms.aspxbetrayal
Number of films tagged: 1035

Number of people who tagged: 62

Number of times used: 154

]]>Mon, 27 Jul 2009 04:28:04 GMT103562154Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/pirates/MemberTagFilms.aspxpirates
Number of films tagged: 25

Number of people who tagged: 42

Number of times used: 56

]]>Fri, 20 Feb 2009 19:41:08 GMT254256Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/disney/MemberTagFilms.aspxdisney
Number of films tagged: 70

Number of people who tagged: 39

Number of times used: 128

]]>Thu, 25 Jun 2009 19:53:40 GMT7039128Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/undead/MemberTagFilms.aspxundead
Number of films tagged: 203

Number of people who tagged: 29

Number of times used: 49

]]>Tue, 07 Jul 2009 01:07:26 GMT2032949Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/cannibal/MemberTagFilms.aspxcannibal
Number of films tagged: 273

Number of people who tagged: 28

Number of times used: 38

]]>Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:20:45 GMT2732838Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/Entertaining/MemberTagFilms.aspxEntertaining
Number of films tagged: 33

Number of people who tagged: 28

Number of times used: 40

]]>Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:09:49 GMT332840Tag http://www.spout.com/members/0/tags/seduction/MemberTagFilms.aspxseduction
Number of films tagged: 1268

Number of people who tagged: 23

Number of times used: 43

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